Reflections on Being a Quintessential Twenty-Something

I stumbled across an article a few weeks ago that I knew I must read – and comment on – but until now hadn't found the time to do so.

The article, entitled Semi-Charmed Life, was published in the New Yorker by Nathan Heller.  Take the time to read it if you have a chance.*  It's amazing.

Ok, you back (or still here)?  Good.

The article looks at twenty-something-ness as a unique phase in everyone’s lives.  It talks about how this phase in our life is special because it is so varied – all of us are doing so many different things, someone of us are doing it all at once, and somehow that draws us together.  Parts of the article stuck out to me as hitting a proverbial nail on the head.

As I draw much closer to the end of my 20s than the beginning, I've spent a lot of time thinking about where I’ve come from and where I’ll be in a few years. 

• I entered my 20s a college student – over worked, over tired, over partied, over committed, overly single, and probably with a checking account nearly over drawn. 
• My early-mid 20s were spent slaving away at a job I hated in order to pay the bills. 
• I quit said job in my still early-mid-20s to go back to being overly broke and started grad school – I was again a full time student, working two full time jobs, and in a truly terrible relationship.
• I spent most of my mid-20s focusing on my career.  My checking account was still over drawn half the time but I was working my ass off at something I loved and - too be honest - having way to good of a time.
• With the recent move (and the entry into the definite late-20s of my life), I’ve refocused a little.  I’m still working hard, doing something I love, but I’m also focusing on my relationships more, building up that bank account, and losing the weight that comes along with having a good time.

It’s hard to think that all of that can happen in less than 7 years.  Harder yet to believe that all of my best friends could describe very different paths in their 20s and yet all of our experiences resonate with one another – we are all drawn together even if nothing about our lives appears to meld well.

At one point, Heller says that one of the most interesting part of everyone’s 20s is that “Where you start out—rich or poor, rustic or urbane—won’t determine where you end up, perhaps, but it will determine how you get there.”  This could not be more true. 

The article also mentions a clinical psychologist who observes that – contrary to the carefree attitude that people see in 20-somethings – as a whole we are horribly unsatisfied.  We feel that our lives are not what we hoped for.  I think my meandering path above demonstrates that I have felt the same way.  There are defining moments in that story – literal “wake up in the morning and realize something has to change” moments – where I was so unsatisfied that I was willing to give everything up to make a change.  And I did.  Multiple times.

So where am I going with all of this?  That is the ultimate question, isn’t it?  I may have almost 2 years left to my 20s but I’m already feeling the pressure to figure it out.  Thankfully, these days, the 30s are the new 20s so I have a few years to get there.  The article even addresses that fact.  In the 90s, the "it-girls" on TV were like Ally McBeal - late 20-something, desperate, single women.  Today, the "freak out timeline" focuses more on the Liz Lemon's of the world - late 30s.  As the article states: "There’s no shame now in being a twentysomething without imminent family plans, and there may even be extra power."

Near the end of the article, Heller makes this observation.

Twentysomething culture is intimate and exclusive on the one hand, and eternal on the other. We tout this stage of life, in retrospect, as free, although we ogle the far shores of adulthood while we’re there.

When I read those sentences, it suddenly all made sense to me.  Why this stage in my life is so special.  Why I feel the need to write about it on the blog that so few people read.  Why I strive to improve with each new step I take.

We live in a world where almost everything about it is readily available to virtual strangers.  At the same time,  we know more than ever about how to shape that intimacy.  That's what this blog is all about, isn't it?  Putting my thoughts out into the world in a way that truly expresses what is on my heart.  I am able to express myself - no one can take that away.  

I have the freedom every day to do what I want still.  I have no husband, no children, at home to answer to.  And yet, as I near the end of the 20s, I've come to realize that that "far shore of adulthood" isn't so far away afterall.  That maybe it's ok to be anchored down a little.

*Did you miss the post on my Facebook page with the link last week?  Make sure you like the page so you don't miss anything in the future!

One Word: 2013

I know this is really late but I think it's worth sharing anyway.

When I first heard about the One Word project, I knew I wanted to give it some thought and decide what word I could best use to describe what I want out of 2013.

If I had chosen a word for 2012, it would have been positivity.  It took me a while to think of something that could top that, but I found it.

I thought about going with trust.  I used to trust everyone without questioning.  After having that thrown back in my face one too many times, I've had a hard time getting back to trusting others.
I thought about going with happy.  I am truly happy right now and I want to keep it that way.
I thought about health.  I'm working on some things to get myself in better shape.
I thought about read or write because I really do want to focus on doing more of both of those things this year.

All of those things fell flat.  None of them really expressed what I wanted this year to be about.

The move back to Wisconsin was a chance for me - for once in my life - to follow my heart instead of my head.  To do what felt right instead of what I thought was right.  To put myself as a person - not as a student, employee, daughter, or girlfriend - first.  I learned very quickly that making this move and listening to what my heart was telling me made me a better everything.  I don't need to analyze everything.  Sometimes I just need to trust what my instinct is telling me.

Because of that, 2013 is all about heart.  It's actually going to be a tough one for me.  But I'm working on it and that's all living the one word is about.


Did you do a One Word post this year?  Link it in the comments if you did.  I can't wait to encourage everyone to live their word.

Just a Little Something We Can Do...

A few days ago, while reading through some of my favorite blogs, I stumbled upon a little announcement about "Operation: Friendship for Newtown."  Like the group on Facebook if you want the most current info or want to follow along.

The gist of it is that this wonderful woman is collecting green and white friendship bracelets for the kids at Sandy Hook.  Remember back when those little friendship bracelets meant the world to you?  Yep, we're giving that little bit of love and hope back to these kids.  I went out and bought embroidery floss tonight (10 skeins of each color for a grand total of $7.00....... I mean come on.  It's the least we can do) and plan to spend my free time in the car this weekend making as many of these as my little fingers can handle.

Even though it's a minor thing for me to be sharing this with my limited audience, I wanted to anyway.  If you have any free time in the next week or so, please consider doing a little something for the students whose lives have literally been shattered.  It's not much but it's something we all can do so they know they haven't been forgotten.

What I'm Reading Wednesday

I genuinely love Casey Leigh's gift of storytelling.  I read this post for the first time a few weeks ago.  I was trying to wake up for the day, coffee mug gripped in my hands.  It was my last day of work at the old job and I was needing a moment of calm before I embarked on my day.  As always, she delivered.  I ached to be able to write like this - weave a spell, set a scene, tell a story.

I stumbled upon a blog a while back that a remarkable woman writes.  Stephanie and her husband were in a terrible accident a few years back and yet her blog is full of hope, of peace, and of love.  It's an incredible reminder to be thankful for what you've been given and for persevering no matter what.  I read this post after a bit of a bad day when I was feeling sorry for myself.  So inspirational.

This post was the first I read on Oh Joy! but I knew I was hooked.  If you come to a dinner party at my house anytime soon (tough since I don't have a dining room table, but whatever), expect something similar.  So cute!  

Stop over and show these bloggers some love!

What I'm Reading Wednesday

As I mentioned yesterday, I just haven't been feeling inspired to do this whole blogging thing with everything else that's going on.  Just because I'm not writing as much doesn't mean that I'm not reading though!  I keep finding these amazing blog posts that say exactly what I want to say so I figured instead of writing today, I'd share some of my favorite bloggers and their posts from this week that have inspired me.  Maybe you'll learn something or find someone new to read.  You never know...

I have no idea how I found Kati, but she's one of my favorite bloggers.  Kati, if you're reading this, did you know that?  I think we'd be friends in real life.  Anyway.  Swing over there and show her some blog love is you feel so inclined.
Kati wrote this post this week about why she moved to Nebraska.  I kind of feel the same way about why I'm moving to Marshfield.  I mean, yes it's in my home state but it isn't exactly where I thought I'd end up.  Thanks for putting my thoughts into words, Kati!

Nicholl is one of the few fashion bloggers I follow religiously.  I wish I were half that cute.  She's also hysterically funny.  I've been thinking about doing one of the "Fact Is..." linkups and always forget about them until I read hers and than I realize I'm not all that funny.  Her perspective on life is fabulous and she'll make you giggle.  Good enough for me!

 

I started reading Alycia's blog a while back and kept reading because she is one of the most honest and adorable people I have stumbled upon on the internet.  This post from Monday is especially amazing.  We all need a reminder to judging one another sometimes.  I know I do!

If I could sew - which someday I'm determined to learn for real - I would totally make myself this jacket.  Amazing.


See anything you really love?  Click over and let them know!

10 Things...

I stumbled across an exercise on a blog I used to follow* that shared a 10/10/10 list. The exercise was inspired by this post. And while I'm sure both the blogger I used to follow (who shall remain unnamed since she's a great blogger, just not my thing) and this Cheryl Richardson are wonderful people, I won't be following either of them anytime soon. 

That being said, this is something that I've been off and on doing in my head all week anyway so I figured I might as well give it a shot out loud.  Only I made it a 5-er list because that's what came to me easily and the point wasn't to think about this ALL DAY.

Try it and see what you think.

Five Things To Say Yes To

• An awesome opportunity to see some of the most important people in your life, even if it stretches the budget and requires time you don't have
• A glass of wine after work with a girlfriend who you don't get to see very often
• Another book recommendation
• An invitation from the cat to stretch out on the bed after work and scratch her between the ears for a while
• Warming up leftovers for dinner because you're too lazy to cook

Five Things To Say No To

• A ride home when you walked to work and it might drizzle sometime in the next hour
• The friend-request from someone who once sat next to you in a random class in high school and told you that you weren't good enough to be their friend or any email, text message, or Facebook request from an ex-boyfriend
• An invitation to go out on the weekend when you just really don't want to go
• The "opportunity" to serve on another committee which means next to nothing to you
• Wearing shoes around the house (or under your desk for that matter)

Five Things That Will Make My Life Better

• Trying to start over on the exercise plan I developed two weeks ago that I have accomplished exactly once
• Working harder on my relationships with real and honest friends
• Figuring out how to organize my closet and drawers to make it easier to find everything I own so that it actually gets worn
• Getting back into the habit of not biting my nails
• Feeling confident that I can make the right decision for myself every time

I'm adding one of my own, just as a reminder...

Five Things That Will NEVER Make My Life Better

• Beating myself up about the fact that I can't fit everything that should get done into every single day
• Going out of my way to please friends who would never go out of their way to return the favor
• Another dress / pair of boots / sweater... no matter how cute they are
• Splurging on another crappy nail polish color that will only get worn once in an effort to motivate myself to stop chewing my nails until they bleed
• Listening to what everyone in the peanut gallery has to say about how to live my life

So there you have it, friends.  I should add "blogging daily" to my five things to say yes to list but we'll get there again someday.  In the meantime, know that I'm trying all while having lots of long-distance phone conversations, snuggling with my fluffy babies, and trying to keep the clutter at bay in my apartment, all while working, working, working.  

*I have to admit that all of the blog reading I started doing over the summer in order to inspire my own blog got overwhelming and left me even less inspired. Really it just made me feel not good enough, not pretty enough, not rich enough, and way too busy to possible do the things those people were doing. So I spent the last few weeks unsubscribing from blogs. If you're a reader and I unsubscribed from yours, please don't take it personally. I just realized that it isn't doing me any good to following things that don't resonate with me. Blogging is a personal journey and there are plenty of people who I follow who I don't really have much in common with but who still somehow enrich my life, my own writing, etc. There were so many more though that I got nothing from - I don't like their sense of style, find their politics (or grammar for that matter) offensive, whatever. So in an effort to declutter my life and clear my head, I unsubscribed. Sorry. It needed to be done.

Can't Live Without It...

I came across this article on Apartment Therapy weeks ago and bookmarked it as a future blog post. As I was laying on my couch this morning, really not wanting to get out of bed for work, it came back to me.

For someone who grew up in the same house for most of my life (we moved there when I was four), I have lived in a lot of spaces. Dorm rooms and on-campus apartments in college, apartments after college with interesting roommate situations, my graduate school apartment that I (at least in my opinion) transformed from an awkward one-bedroom to a functional space, and multiple apartments here in Lexington. I hate the process of moving but I love trying out new neighborhoods, making new spaces feel like home, so I tend to move a lot. My biggest fear, once I pay off enough student loans to consider buying a house, is that I'll be sick of it in about a year.

My current place, although small, is probably one of my favorites. It suits my lifestyle and checks all of my required boxes. My "must have" list grows and changes with every new place. I can tell you after living in my second apartment in Lexington that my former must have list wasn't discriminating enough.

Why I Blog

Alternatively Titled: What I Don't Blog About

I've been having a bit of a blogging identity crisis for the last month or so. I got this fantastic new design, my readership is up (at least slightly), I've been posting regularly... but none of it has felt genuine. 

I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, writing about it, consulting others in the blog world, reading literally hundreds of other blogs, and debating what to do about it.

I boiled it down to a couple of questions. Most importantly, why do I blog in the first place?

I started blogging to give me an outlet to write, specifically about my life, my babies, and my books. I have always been a reader first and a writer second - with everything else in my life coming after those two priorities to be honest - and I wanted some place to combine the two. I planned to write a blog to share with others but of course, like all bloggers, hoped to grow my readership well beyond my small social circle.

I started blogging to give myself a voice.

I started blogging to keep my family up-to-date on all of the life changes - at least the ones I am able to share on the Internet.

After answering my first question, I moved on to the second. What don't I want to write about?

I love fashion - and admittedly have a shopping problem - but don't have any desire to write about that. Mostly because I have a crappy camera that takes terrible pictures, I don't have a roommate or spouse to help me out, and honestly, I just hate how I look in photographs. Wonky eyeballs - trust me. So a fashion-focused blog is out.

I cook a lot but mostly things that don't require a recipe. No one cares about how I spruced up my store-bought spaghetti sauce with an extra green pepper I had laying around. It might taste great but seriously - who cares?

I'm not all that crafty. When I am, it's usually an idea I stole off the internet so there's no need for me to put it out there again.

I'm not a mom so clearly I can't be a mommy blogger - unless I talk about my cats all the time. And while I love them, even I would get sick of that.

I don't travel to exotic places and the vast majority of my travel is work related so really, there's nothing to talk about there.

I'm not a photographer (see aforementioned comment about crappy camera and wonky eyeballs) so personally, I have no desire to have a photo-heavy blog.

All of these "NO" answers left me without a niche - something you supposedly need in the blogging world. And yet, I still want to write. I've heard that no one reads blogs with lots of words and that might be true. I might never have 1,000 followers (or 100 for that matter) and I might never have 10,000 hits a day (or a week or a year) but I want to write. Plus, I read text heavy blogs every single day. In fact, some of my favorite blogs are published by people who I have never met but who let me into their life every day through their words - not their pictures!

I emailed one of those bloggers this morning to thank them for being true to themselves and inspiring someone like me to keep writing. She replied with this profound thought.

I'm not a "niche" blogger. Some say you "have" to have a niche. Okay, fine. So, my niche, then, is "Aramelle."

So I'm stealing that. My niche is now "Rikki." I'm going to keep writing about me, my cats, and my books. Some people may not like it but I'm not doing it for some people. I'm doing it for me. I'd love for you to hang in there with me but if you don't want to read this much, I'll understand.

Favorite Things Friday

Hey friends!

No theme this week because, quite frankly, I'm too tired to be creative and theme-y.  Instead, I'll stick closer to the High Fives for Friday format that Lauren at From My Grey Desk uses.  Sorry if that disappoints in any way.

1.  I'm moving to this building!  (Also, my post from yesterday didn't publish somehow and it's a fun and interactive one so keep scrolling and enjoy yourselves.  At this point it's already a little outdated but it'll do!)

 2.  My baby sister gets married TWO WEEKS FROM TOMORROW!  Ah!!!  Way back when they got engaged (two years ago) I planned to write a post about them and it never happened.  Expect wedding posts soon.  Because really, after I move next week, that's all I'll be thinking about for a good week!

3.  That nail polish from yesterday is still a high-five.  Seriously.  It's rocking my world.

4.  The blog address has changed - subtly.  I started the blog before I had two little munchkins (the photo is from the first day I had Charlie.  My how they have grown.) and never got around the changing the address.  So I've finally added the "s" officially instead of just having an (s) in the title.  I needed to make the change now because.......


5.  My dear friend Lindsay (why do I always call her that when I write about her?!) is in the process of helping me revamp the blog.  Stay tuned, friends.  I'm jazzed about the upcoming changes and am so happy she's forcing me to stop procrastinating.  Even if she is a total pain in my butt for adding one more thing to the to do list right now.


Happy Friday!

I Have a Confession To Make...

So to the few people out there who are reading this, I have a confession to make.

All of this blogging lately has felt very forced. 

I'm feeling like I don't have a voice or anything interesting to say and I'm feeling downright not pretty enough, funny enough, creative enough, smart enough, fill-in-the-blank enough to even be trying right now.

Maybe it's because I decided recently I want to be a real blogger with a real point of view that people who don't know me want to read about.  So I start looking at all of these other people who are out there doing that in order to help determine my niche and I realized I'm never going to cut it. 

I can't take cute pictures of my outfits and put them out there because a) I don't have that cute of outfits and b) I am horrible at taking self portraits. 

I can't do anything fun and DIY-y because all of my DIY projects are taken from other people and that's just lame. 

My job isn't all the interesting and the parts that are, I can't really talk about out on the internet.

I'm not all that funny. 

I'm not a new mom - and I really don't want to be possibly ever.

I haven't been reading classic works of art that people want to hear about. 

I don't travel around the world having adventures. 

I'm not on a dating quest to find the perfect person for me.

I'm constantly looking to others for inspiration and am not all that inspiring myself.

I might just be the least interesting person on the internet.  I literally had a post scheduled about how I made lunch leftovers last for a week of meals.  (Don't worry - I'm sparing you from that one.) 

Maybe I'm just not cut out for this blogging thing. 

It's not only about the blogging.  Really, everything I've done lately has felt very forced, very inauthentic.  

My life lately has been filled with so many people doing so many wonderful things and I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels and am going nowhere.  I'm not good with mediocrity and that's what my life is filled with right now.  I might simply be "good" enough but that's never been okay with me.

So there.  This might be the most honest post I've written in a while.  Deal with it.

And stay tuned tomorrow for another Favorite Things Friday post.  Because really, I will keep trying.  For now at least.

Saturday Simplicity (New Collars and California Kitties Tags for the Girls)

It's been a while since I did a Saturday Simplicity post.  Probably because my life is far from simple right now.  So today I'm sort of going to do a SS post.  I say that because I really want to post more than a picture but that defeats the purpose of SS.  So here's the compromise.  The picture is below.  If you want the true SS experience, just stop reading.  If you want the full story (highly recommended of course!) and want to know where I got those beautiful tags for the girls, click the link below the picture to get the rest of the story!  (How's that for compromise...)

Letting Us Grow

Another feature in my post-Mothers Day reflection.

As I mentioned the other day, I regularly read the Mama PhD blog on InsideHigherEd.com.  All of the women have unique perspectives on motherhood in academia - something that I hope to know a bit about should I decide I want to do the having children thing.  Another recent post in the Math Geek Mom series caught my attention in the same way the article I shared earlier this week did.

This article talks about how children grow exponentially.  And of course, it makes me think about all the things I've done to my parents that probably made them realize the same thing.

Learning how to read at such a young age.

Dropping Mom's hand on the way to the bus stop on the first day of kindergarten, telling her "this was just something I needed to do on my own," and leaving her a block away to cry and wave from a far.

Starting a choir from scratch at our church for kids 3yo-6yo with a good friend* while in middle school.  And going on to direct it for years.  And now going back to watch those kids who sang for me back in the day graduate from high school and college (now I'm realizing how times moves exponentially!)

Learning to drive... in the Princess-mobile.

Venturing off to college in the big city of Minneapolis at a school I had chosen in 9th grade (for who knows what reason) where I didn't really know anyone.

Picking up everything and moving to Nashville to go back to school in a city where I really only knew one person.

Moving to Lexington for my current job.

Sometimes, I think it was just yesterday that I was that little girl playing dress up in the backyard (lets be real, if I could get away with it, I probably would have done that yesterday) and then I realize that I'm a real adult with real adult problems and real adult bills and real adult relationships.

Not all of my milestones were good ones.  There have been some really rocky roads in my 27 years.  Deaths of friends and children - people who were way to young to die.
Scary and dark moments in my life.  Scary and dark moments in my friends lives.
Years were we didn't get along.  Family problems.

I am so incredibly thankful that my parents didn't shelter me from those times.  They allowed me to figure things out, to feel, to think out loud, to interact with the real world. 

Thanks Mom & Dad.

Really.  Thank you.

Celebrating Women

So I know Mothers Day has come and gone but I'm a bit behind on my "daily" reading of articles, other blogs, magazines, on and on and on... So bear with me.  This week, I'll be writing a few different posts responding to a couple of things I should have read closer to Mothers Day.  I want to reflect on these, mostly because my mom is a) awesome and b) incredible but also because it's worth discussing the power of awesome and incredible women every day not just one day in the year where Hallmark tells us to talk about it.  That's not to say I think of Mothers Day as just a Hallmark holiday in the least.  Quite the opposite.

This paragraph from a recent Math Geek Mom post on Mama PhD, a blog I read regularly from InsideHigherEd.com, has stuck with me.

Mother’s Day is often anticipated with advertisements for flowers and greeting cards, with hardly a mention of the very radical origin of the day. Indeed, the day was created by Julia Ward Howe in 1870 as a day for women, especially mothers, to come together to work for peace. The day’s founders proposed that the women of the world, with a vested interest in the well-being of the next generation, could find ways to create a better world. As I think of the women I know who mother, I have to agree.

If that's true, which I'm assuming it is, that's awesome.  Seriously awesome.  In part because Mothers Day isn't about being a good mom or a bad mom or a trying-really-hard mom or not being a mom at all.  It's about celebrating women.

Celebrating the power of women coming together to change the world.  

Celebrating leaving this place better for those that come after us than it was for our own generations.

I've talked about this a little before, but I want to discuss it again.  I am not a mom.  I don't know that I ever want to be a mom.  But I cherish the children in my life who I am blessed to be close to.  And I serve as a mother / big sister / crazy aunt / mentor to dozens of students at the many colleges where I've worked.  I had multiple "Happy Pseudo-Mothers Day" messages.

That in no way diminishes true moms out there.  I made a point to reach out to all the mommies in my life - my friends who have small children or are expecting - and was so grateful to spend Mothers Day with my own mom and sister - something we haven't always had the luxury to do since we're all spread out.

But Mothers Day was created to be bigger than that.

It was created to to celebrate the power of positive female interaction.  And again, that's just awesome.

Too often, women are tough on one another.  We get down on each out about how we look and what we wear, what we say and what we don't say, how we parent or don't parent (more on that in a later post)... really, we get down on each other for just about everything.  And in turn we get down on ourselves and it's a ridiculous vicious cycle.

Basically this long "Mothers Day" rant is a reminder to be nice to one another.  To remember the origin of Mothers Day every single day.  To remember to celebrate the power we all have when we work together instead of working against.

It's worth reading the entire article I linked above, by the way.  All of those women mentioned are worth celebrating.  All of them.  As are all of us out there not mothering but who are trying our damnedest to make a difference in this world.

It's not that men can't do it.  It's that we shouldn't let them do everything when we could be so powerful on our own.

Actual Conversation I Had on G-Chat Today

...Complete with the total lack of grammar to punctuate my g-chat conversations (like always)...

me:  i don't know why i share these because i'm sure you read her as religiously as i do

http://thebloggess.com/

but her latest "rerun" post has me dying laughing

 

Sara:  I just started her book last night too!! hilarious.

 

me:  and by dying laughing i mean that sort of literally because i have a nasty cough and everytime i laugh i cough up a lung

 

Sara:  mmm. i just had that cough last week. it was lovely. and by lovely i mean the worst thing ever.

 

me:  yeah, my coworkers just keep giving me the evil eye and telling me to go home

it's so tempting but i have so much to do!

good thing i have a lunch thing today and then i can go home after infecting all of those people

also, my dayquil is making me sort of twisted i think

 

Sara:  also, i love the phrase "douche canoe".

and dayquil is amazing. you get a buzz and can't get fired for it. lol

me:  agreed on both accounts

couple dayquil with mucinex and tylenol and you're on the train to crazy town and no one can do anything about it

 

Sara:  lol. that should probably be your facebook status.

Because I am sick and 99% of my thoughts are incoherent, this is as good as it gets today folks.  Want a good laugh?  Click the Bloggess link above.  Her posts when she's high on Dayquil are so much funnier than mine.

10 Essentials

Inspired by a blog series by one of my favorite stores CB2.  
Side Note: Their blog is pretty cool even if you don't like the store.

1. My (feline) girls.  They provide me with a constant source of laughter and love and make my apartment feel like home after even the longest days.


2.  Real Girl Friends.  Growing up, I didn't have a lot of female friends.  Since then, I have been blessed to live in a number of different cities and have had the pleasure of making honest-to-god, can't-live-without-them, do-anything-for-one-another girl friends.  I never knew the power of positive female friendship until college because so many female relationships are built on backstabbing and power struggles and even since then I've been burned more than once.  But I literally could not make it without my ladies.  There is something to be said for friends who will fly across the country at a moments notice to cheer you up after a bad breakup, who know the exact moment when you really need to hear a 3-year-old's voice, who will drive across town to provide soup when you're sick... 


3.  A stack of to-be-read books.  (Or these days, 90+ books to-be-read on my Kindle).  You never know where you'll find the next great adventure.


4.  Some sort of outdoor space.  I need fresh air almost every day.  I wrote many a paper on my porch in the winter in Nashville and slept with the windows open in November in Minnesota.


5.  My family.  Needs no explanation.  We're all a little quirky, but it works for us.


6.  Chapstick.  

Note: I am obviously not putting these in numerical order because let's be real, my family ranks way above books and chapstick ranks way below my family.

Ok... Again.

6.  Chapstick.  There is nothing worse than knowing your lips need hydration.  Like last week while attending a meeting and not being able to find my chapstick in the bottomless-pit-that-is-my-purse no matter how hard I tried to look quietly.  It was awful.


7.  Caffeine.  This one should really be up at the top.  I have a caffeine problem.  I have been known to consume 3 Cokes and 2 cups of coffee from 7:00am-2:00pm.  Sheesh.  It's the only way I get anything done.


8.  A project to be working on.  I'm always in the middle of something.  Right now, I'm purging years worth of magazines by creating my own person, hard-copy version on Pinterist (which I don't use... so no comment there).  When I moved in here, I spent a month picking out the perfect paint color for my living room and I'm still not sure I found it.  When I'm not redecorating, I'm crafting.  When not crafting, I'm writing.  When not writing, I'm rearranging... You get the picture.


9.  My cell phone.  I once left it at a then-boyfriend's house and had to go without for an entire day.  It was awful.  Honestly, I am obsessive about checking that I have it on me after that day.  Even if my current phone is a piece of crap.  It's my own personal nightmare to go without my phone for an entire weekend.


10.  My own bathroom.  I grew up in a house with 3 (sometimes 4) women and one bathroom.  I then went to college and used communal bathrooms and had roommates.  I never had a problem with modesty or personal space.  Until I lived alone.  I would rather share my bedroom than my bathroom.  In fact, if I ever get married I plan to custom build my house just so there are two master baths.  Get your hands off my toothpaste and your dirty feet out of my bathtub...


If I got 11 essentials, I'd add pizza.  But I don't.  So I won't.

Something to Celebrate (and a Special Challenge for You!)

This past weekend was arguably one of the best weekends I've ever had in Lexington.  None of the people that I have been spending a lot of time with were in town so I wasn't expecting it to be quite so much fun.  But it was.  And I have to thank all of the people who went out of their way to make it awesome.

Going into this week on a happy note was a wonderful change compared to most Monday mornings.  I think it's because, even in spite of my meltdown last week about missing my friends and family, my work has been incredibly rewarding lately.  The awesome thing about working at a college is the fact that I feel like I make a difference in someone's life every day - whether that's true or not doesn't really matter because I feel that way and that's half the battle.  And honestly, without sounding conceited, I know it's true.

It's the end of the school year so I get to hear good great news every... single... day.  The students who I have come to know so well are all getting interviews for big-kid jobs, being offered said jobs, or getting accepted to grad school.  Students who graduated in the last couple of years are off doing awesome things* and I get to sit back and watch them enjoy the ride.  I get text messages, emails, phone calls, or visits constantly from students and alumni telling me about the fantastic things they are doing and I couldn't be more proud.  Even though I don't technically work directly with the students any more, I still know that the work that I do is making an impact in their current lives and will continue to make an impact long into the future.  I truly believe in the work that I do.  These students would not be given these awesome opportunities if this university did not have such amazing donors and I am blessed to work with both of those constituent groups.

Many of the people I have worked with, worried about, supported, nurtured, encouraged... on and on... in the last 10 years have overcome so much and are out there changing the world.  Getting married, having babies, making a huge impact on improving the world we live in.  All of that is cause for celebration.

Last week I spent an entire post complaining about missing my family and this week I'm going on and on about how much of a difference I make.  I do know that it's not just me of course.  But it's an awesome feeling to know that I might have had even a teeny tiny part of that success.

As someone who has overcome some pretty big things in my life, I understand the power of a seemingly simple moment brought on by a completely ordinary person.

The boss that singled you out to tell you what great work you did when you were just doing your job

or 

the teacher who took a minute to congratulate you on great work 

or

the mentor who said "you know you really could do that when you grow up, right?"

or

the friend who gave five minutes to ask the right question and listen to the answer

...on and on...

I have been blessed to have all of those people in my life and all of those moments have literally been life changing for me.  I'd like to think that I've helped pay that back into the world, even just a little.

As I launch into this week of celebrating - a friend's birthday, an end-of-college gathering with some of the students who I have gotten to know so very well, my birthday, and then reunions at the school where I work - I have a challenge for you.

Take one minute to celebrate with someone who has accomplished something they may not even know is a big deal and be that small, seemingly ordinary moment that may or may not go on to make a huge difference in their life.

You never know how that moment might change someone's life.

And a HUGE congrats to all of those people out there, especially to my current and former students from one of the many institutions I have been blessed to be a part of, who have done something so great in the past couple of weeks.  It's worth saying again.  You all make me so proud.

*If you're into hiking, check out this blog chronicling a former student's adventures on the Appalachian Trail.  I'm hooked... I wish I had half the courage she does!

Favorite Things Friday (Week 1)

I'm going to steal a series idea from my friend Wendi whose blog I follow.  Favorite Things Friday is an excellent way to make sure I post at least once a week.

Here are the top three things I'm obsessed with this week:

The Itty Bitty Kitty Committee - My friend KP posted this link a few weeks ago because she was going to be hiatus-ing from her blog and she thought this (among other things) might keep us entertained.  I cannot get enough.  Seriously, this woman fosters the cutest kittens ever.  I love my girls and I think they are adorable but this site is full of cuteness.  I hope you didn't click that link without wanting to "aaawwwwww"

 

This tank top - I own it in three different colors now and I honestly wish I could wear it every day.  It makes me feel girly and comfy all at the same time and it's pretty much become a game changer at my house.

Boxed Wine from Trader Joe's  - Talk about a game changer!  This was made specifically for busy women everywhere who like wine.  It has taken me weeks to get through one box and the wine hasn't gone bad!  I love a glass of wine at the end of the day but once you open a bottle of wine, you have to hurry up and drink it and then you end up with a nasty headache and in the end, you should have just skipped the wine.  This is $10 per box (approx. $2.50 per bottle!) and you don't have to feel guilty for only wanting a small glass of wine and not finishing the bottle in one night.  Amazing.  Thanks to Lindsay for picking some up for me last time she was at Trader Joe's..

 
Also, I'm glad I could give a shout out to some of my awesome blogger friends in this post.  Woo whee!  Happy Friday!