Sunday, March 25, 2012

March Madness (Not the Basketball Kind)

I have been MIA for the last two weeks and I vowed not to do that now that I was writing again, but fear not.  I have not forgotten all of my (5 or so) faithful readers.

The last month has been insanely busy.  I was in Indianapolis less than a month ago for work, followed by a weekend in Louisville, a week of work, a few days in Chicago, a weekend in Wisconsin, a few long days of work, and then 3.5 days sick in bed.  Which leads me to today.  And I head off to New York City tomorrow for another work trip (although I'm sure I will find time to see some sights while I'm in town as well).  March went very quickly, to say the least.

As I mentioned the last few days have found me sick in bed.  I spent Thursday and Friday sleeping for most of the day but yesterday I read a few (not worth reviewing) books - mostly trashy, free downloads off Amazon. 

My DVR is almost cleaned out and I discovered that I only have 3 episodes left of Cold Case.  A bit sad as that means I've seen (almost) every episode of that show ever aired and I will have to find a new show to watch start to finish.  Any suggestions?  I'll watch almost anything, although at one time Netflix described my "preferred genre" as something along the lines of dark police procedural dramas and I think they nailed that right on the head.  Nip / Tuck (not police-based but still totally twisted), Dexter (which I'm behind on but have to pay to watch so that won't work), Criminal Minds, Cold Case... My latest new show is Awake.  Yep, definitely into the dark police procedural dramas.  I'm also watching Grimm and Once Upon a Time so I guess I've jumped on the fairy tale train. 

Ok, so back the question.  Any suggestions on new series?

This is, quite frankly, the most boring blog post I've written in a very long time.  Not that any of them are exciting.  I mean, when an "adventurous day" in my weekend involves a Target run, getting a pedicure, grabbing FroYo with a girl friend, and making a second Target run, you can't expect me to inspire a particularly exciting blog post.

I just wanted to touch base.  

And now one last little insight into my world.

Charlie is clearly obsessed with sparkles.  As my mom put it, she thinks of my fancy purses as giant sparkle balls.  

Lady Bug is much more laid back.  She followed my stack of blue jeans around all night.

And "mommy" obviously has a shoe problem.

We aren't a girly house at all, are we?

Friday, March 9, 2012

How to of the Day (Alternatively Titled: Why I am NOT a Crazy Cat Lady)

My friend Luisa and I discovered a little gem back when I worked at Belmont.  After spending probably an entire morning designing our iGoogle home pages, we both fell in love with the "How to of the Day."  Seriously, they post of the most useless "How To-s" ever.  When we find them especially funny, we share them with one another even though we don't share an office anymore.

This morning, Luisa shared this extra special gem with me.

Why is it wrong that she happens to have glasses and is reading a book?  Because she has a cat in her lap.  Oh good.
Now, I am aware that I am writing this post from a blag that literally mentions my cats in the URL.  But still.  I am not a crazy cat lady and I have a few "issues" with this how to and with teh stereotype itself.  Namely that they portray cat ladies in a completely wrong light.  Allow me to enlighten you. 

1. Understand what it takes to avoid having the term “cat lady” applied to you.

According to their description in this section, I am not a cat lady (don't worry, they'll prove this wrong soon enough).  I do not own enough cats to be considered an animal hoarder, nor do I want to.  I am also not middle-aged thankyouverymuch.

In addition, I take (tongue and cheek) offense to their statement about lack of boundaries.  Yes, I refer to my cats as my children and make decisions about my life based on how it will impact them.  
  • First of all, while I did not give birth to them, they are certainly a part of my family.  In fact, my cats cause way less problems for the rest of the world than your children (if you have them of course).  My cats would never throw food in a restaurant, scream in the grocery store, or stare awkwardly at anyone in public.  (1 point for cats over babies)
  • As for making decisions about them, if I just decided to up and move and leave them, it would be considered animal cruelty.  Damn right I make decisions based on how it would effect them!  I don't decide what I'm going to do on a Friday night based on how they'll feel and they don't dictate my travel schedule (1 point for have cats instead of dogs!) but when it comes to long-term, life-changing decisions you better believe they are taken into account.
2.  Examine your own behavior and the signals you're giving out

Let's look at this point by point.
  • Do you talk excessively about your cats and refer to them as your babies?  I mean, I don't think it's excessive.  I can go hours without talking about them.  But yes, they are my babies.  See numero uno above for how my babies are less annoying then your human babies.
  • Do you bring up the most tedious details about your cats when socializing or at work? Only when we my other cat loving friends.
  • Do you avoid social situations such as dating or having an evening with friends to be at home with the cats, fearing they'll be lonely or sad without you? NO!  They are however a good barometer for when I need some downtime and have been working (and playing) too hard.  And I can be gone for literally days at a time and my cats are fine while your dog can't go 6 hours without having to pee.  (Point 2 for cats over dogs!)
  • Do you keep numerous photos of your cats on your desk at work, perhaps even a huge wall collage of them?  Heck yes, I do.  I have to see your ugly chubby babies all the time.  Why can't I look at my cute fluff balls at work?  (No points for either cats or babies.  I'm sure you think they're cute.)
According to the article, am already a crazy cat lady.  Oh good.  And we're only on number 2. 

3. Remember that your cat is an animal while your friends are fellow human beings

I am well aware of this.  But that being said, I do think animals have feelings.  Hell, I talk to my plants.  Also, the graphics from this one are too awesome not to share.

 4.  Reduce the number of framed photos of your cat around your home or on your desk.

Must I go back to the mentions of children above?  Pictures of your baby crying, spitting up, or sleeping are acceptable but a couple pictures of cuddling cats are not.  Bite me.

5.  Choose to be social over staying home with the kitty

Lately it would be much better advice for me to stay home over being so damn social.  Being social is exhausting, expensive, and bad for my liver.  Just saying.

6. Avoid talking about your cat when on a date or with friends

My biggest issue with this step is that sometimes, especially when hanging out with my other animal loving friends, it's perfect acceptable to tell stories about my cats.  Or to stay up late texting friends about how their cats are cool.  (Seriously, my friend Sara and I have the best money-making plan ever.  The Paper Bag Wonder Tunnel.)
We're putting together DIY kits so you can make these at home!  And add-ons.  Stay tuned for the newest millionaires, my friends.
Scofield tested and approved.
The second issue I have is with the "...for example, if a friend is telling a story about what her baby did the other day, don’t butt in with a story about your cat" part.  I don't want to sound like I hate babies because I don't.  In fact, I find my best friend's children just about the cutest thing ever.  But I do not understand why people feel the need to share every single poop their baby has taken.  Tell me cute sorties about your children and I'll reciprocate.  But some stories don't need to shared and too often, those are the stories I get to hear.  Shoot me, please.  (Minus 1 point for baby poop / breast feeding / birthing stories)
7.  Stop at two cats.

Done.  Also a word of advice for my friends.  I was much more of a crazy cat lady with just one cat than with two because you feel so guilty when you come home and they're obviously lonely.  I never feel bad leaving them home when there are two of them!

8. Never dress your cats in clothing or costumes

I have never bought my cats any clothing other than bandanas, and those don't count.  Plus, if they're wearing bandanas to support their favorite football team, that doesn't make me a cat lady, it makes me cool.

9.  Spay or neuter your cats. 

No arguing with this one.

10.  Embrace the term. 

This is really the one I have the biggest issue with.  I shouldn't have to embrace any freaking term.  If I were an animal hoarder, sure, fine, that's wrong.  But part of the reason that animal hoarder seem to all be cats is that dogs are outside - the neighbors notice if you're hoarding dogs.  Old ladies get away with hoarding cats and that's not my problem because THAT'S NOT ME.

If I were an almost-27-year-old single girl with two dogs, I would be awesome.  But dogs are more expensive, they need way more time and attention than I am able to give, and they don't come potty trained. Same goes for babies.  Cats need food, water, and flea treatment, with the occasional vaccinations.  They take as much attention as you are willing to give but don't mind being alone for days on end.  They come litter box trained (for the most part) and I don't need to worry about how often they need to go out or being home on time to change a diaper.

Rant Over 

Please note.  I wrote an entire post about cats and didn't post a single picture of my cats.  This just proves my "I am not a crazy cat lady" point.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I Wanna Play!

My friend Lindsay posted this charming little game on her blog* today and I'm stealing it.  I'm not cool and blog-y enough to be tagged in this kind of stuff but I do have cool and somewhat blog-y friends to pass this along to, so here goes.
Post these rules.
Post 11 random things about yourself.
Answer the questions provided by the one who tagged you.
Create 11 new questions for the people you tag.
Go to their blog and tell them they’ve been tagged!
  1. I believe in 6 food groups- pizza, popcorn, ice cream, Coke, caesar salad, and everything else.
    Make that 7 food groups - we'll add in cheeseburgers.
  2. Even though I have two cats, I'm actually a dog person.
  3. I taught myself how to play piano while I was in grade school.  I'm not all that great, but I still play my keyboard at least once a week.
  4. I genuinely believe I chose the best career in the entire world.
  5. My least favorite word in the entire world is "moist."
  6. I miss being in school on a daily basis.  I'm starting to think about how I can start my PhD and still work full-time.
  7. I only got one wrong on the math section of the SATs.
  8. I considered being a chemistry major in college but then I realized
    a) chemistry was really hard,
    b) I would never use a chemistry major in real life and
    c) I preferred going out to watch football on Monday nights over doing chemistry homework.
  9. In high school and college I wore something pink every day.
  10. I think my family is awesome, even if we're (more than) slightly dysfunctional.  Likewise for my friends.  If you are in my "best friend" group, you may as well be family.
  11. I wouldn't mind sharing a house with someone someday, but I will need to have my own bathroom.  I've become very bad at sharing first thing in the morning.

  1. Coffee or tea? Green or black?  Coffee.  Either black or with cream.  I actually really like highly involved espresso drinks which are like $5 a piece so I curb the addiction by drinking coffee with flavored cream every morning at work.
  2. Tell me about your pets. If you don't have any, tell me about your... plants?  Two kitties, obviously.  Prior to the cats I was a crazy fish lady - we had a fish that did tricks and later committed suicide after college.  Thank you to my parents for allowing us to adopt a million animals as children (birds, dogs, fish, guinea pigs, salamanders, a baby squirrel, a rabbit, and of course Schmoe) and for fueling the addiction.
  3. What is your very first memory?  I distinctly remember the day my sister was born, two weeks before my 3rd birthday.  I also remember the day that I learned "See you later" doesn't actually mean "See you later."  I was so disappointed that my older brother and sister weren't really coming over.
  4. If you could learn any language, which would you choose, and why?  I took German for so many years and I feel like I'm lost most of it, so maybe re-learn that.  I thought I wanted to learn Spanish but after taking it for a year in college, I think I was wrong.  I would love to learn a dying language, but since I've always been better at conversing in foreign languages than reading and writing, I would probably fail.
  5. What has been your most hideous fashion blunder?  I have so many!  In fact, I know there there are people out there that don't like my current style, but I'd like that think it's fabulous.  I think the worst is probably my seventh grade haircut - chin length and permed in the front, so short in the back it was shaved.  Minus the perm, it wouldn't have been so bad but combine it with giant glasses and awkward braces and you'll understand why I hated middle school.
  6. Pretend you're on tv. What song should play every time you enter the room?  Ah!  Tough one.  I think on most days I hear the song "Hands" by Jewel run through my head.  Keeps me going, reminds me that the little things do matter and that's it worth making an effort to be nice to people.   
  7. If you could hug any animal in the world, what would you choose?  I would say a meerkat but they aren't very cuddly looking even if they are cute. 
  8. Tell me the best joke you know.  I know really terrible jokes and yet I find them really funny.  Such as...  Q: What did the girl melon say to the boy melon when he proposed?  A: I'm sorry,  We can't elope.
  9. How do you feel about celeb gossip magazines?  Take them or leave them.
  10. Are you sick of the presidential campaigning yet?  I was sick of it before it even started.
  11. If you could go into business for yourself and not fail, what would you peddle?  I have this "brilliant" idea for my best friend and I to open a coffee shop / book store / gift shop / dance studio.  I'm sure we'd make millions.

(and the rest of you, of course!)
  1. What do you want to be when you grow up?
  2. What is the best book you have ever read?
  3. If you had to go on a week-long road trip with one person, who would you pick?
  4. Who put on the best concert you've ever seen?
  5. When was the last time you said thank you?
  6. If you could invent your own room, what would be special about it?  (For example, if I had my own special room, it would be filled with glittery glass things and on a really bad day, I could go in and break things and oompa-loompas would come clean up after me.)
  7. When did you first realize the world wasn't 100% fair?
  8. What are you most proud of thus far in your life?
  9. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
  10. What is your single favorite article of clothing?
  11. What would your memoir be titled?
 Ok, friends.  Your turn! 
I only linked to people who I a) thought might actually do it and b) wouldn't be mad that I linked the them.  Feel free to participate no matter if I tagged you or not and them post the link in the comment so I can so.

*For what it's worth, Lindsay's blog is way cooler than mine.  A blog-y inspiration to be honest.  Thanks for "letting me" steal this, lady!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Top 10 Signs I've Been a Little Too Busy Lately...

10.  There are 3 suitcases in my bedroom / living room, all which are leftover from trips I have already taken, and none which are being prepared for trips in the upcoming weeks.

9.  Charlie is a permanent fixture on my lap whenever I am home.  In fact, right now she is shoved between the computer and my stomach, which her head propped on my arm.

8.  Lady Bug has been sulking for the last 6 hours.  Apparently she's over this whole "Mommy never being home" thing.

7.  My to-do list for work just keeps getting bigger and bigger, while my to do list for home is about 5 pages long.  Thank god I had time to do two loads of laundry Friday night.  Not that it's been put away but at least I have clean clothes for this week.

6.  My DVR is 45% full, which wouldn't be so bad if it was just the Cold Case reruns that I record for when nothing else is on.  But instead, it's 4 weeks of Criminal Minds (a show I never miss for this reason), 2 weeks of Project Runway, and numerous Bravo shows.

5.  My refrigerator is full of food, but all of it is really old leftovers that should have been thrown away before I left for Indianapolis last week.  Even the milk is spoiled.

4.  My house is in a constant disarray - shoes everywhere, dishes in the sink, and a bathroom that looks like the recent tornadoes actually hit my house.

3.  I was supposed to have book club on Friday and I still haven't picked up the book.  Good thing it was a) rescheduled and b) couldn't make the new time.

2.  I am yet again ordering pizza for dinner because the thought of doing dishes just to make something simple like mac n cheese is more than I can handle.

1.  The bag under my eyes are big enough to serve as a new purse.

P.S. I am in no way complaining that I've been busy.  It's been an honestly excellent week.  I just could use a life coach / maid / assistant to help get caught up!

P.P.S.  Look who decided to join us...
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