Reflections on Being a Quintessential Twenty-Something

I stumbled across an article a few weeks ago that I knew I must read – and comment on – but until now hadn't found the time to do so.

The article, entitled Semi-Charmed Life, was published in the New Yorker by Nathan Heller.  Take the time to read it if you have a chance.*  It's amazing.

Ok, you back (or still here)?  Good.

The article looks at twenty-something-ness as a unique phase in everyone’s lives.  It talks about how this phase in our life is special because it is so varied – all of us are doing so many different things, someone of us are doing it all at once, and somehow that draws us together.  Parts of the article stuck out to me as hitting a proverbial nail on the head.

As I draw much closer to the end of my 20s than the beginning, I've spent a lot of time thinking about where I’ve come from and where I’ll be in a few years. 

• I entered my 20s a college student – over worked, over tired, over partied, over committed, overly single, and probably with a checking account nearly over drawn. 
• My early-mid 20s were spent slaving away at a job I hated in order to pay the bills. 
• I quit said job in my still early-mid-20s to go back to being overly broke and started grad school – I was again a full time student, working two full time jobs, and in a truly terrible relationship.
• I spent most of my mid-20s focusing on my career.  My checking account was still over drawn half the time but I was working my ass off at something I loved and - too be honest - having way to good of a time.
• With the recent move (and the entry into the definite late-20s of my life), I’ve refocused a little.  I’m still working hard, doing something I love, but I’m also focusing on my relationships more, building up that bank account, and losing the weight that comes along with having a good time.

It’s hard to think that all of that can happen in less than 7 years.  Harder yet to believe that all of my best friends could describe very different paths in their 20s and yet all of our experiences resonate with one another – we are all drawn together even if nothing about our lives appears to meld well.

At one point, Heller says that one of the most interesting part of everyone’s 20s is that “Where you start out—rich or poor, rustic or urbane—won’t determine where you end up, perhaps, but it will determine how you get there.”  This could not be more true. 

The article also mentions a clinical psychologist who observes that – contrary to the carefree attitude that people see in 20-somethings – as a whole we are horribly unsatisfied.  We feel that our lives are not what we hoped for.  I think my meandering path above demonstrates that I have felt the same way.  There are defining moments in that story – literal “wake up in the morning and realize something has to change” moments – where I was so unsatisfied that I was willing to give everything up to make a change.  And I did.  Multiple times.

So where am I going with all of this?  That is the ultimate question, isn’t it?  I may have almost 2 years left to my 20s but I’m already feeling the pressure to figure it out.  Thankfully, these days, the 30s are the new 20s so I have a few years to get there.  The article even addresses that fact.  In the 90s, the "it-girls" on TV were like Ally McBeal - late 20-something, desperate, single women.  Today, the "freak out timeline" focuses more on the Liz Lemon's of the world - late 30s.  As the article states: "There’s no shame now in being a twentysomething without imminent family plans, and there may even be extra power."

Near the end of the article, Heller makes this observation.

Twentysomething culture is intimate and exclusive on the one hand, and eternal on the other. We tout this stage of life, in retrospect, as free, although we ogle the far shores of adulthood while we’re there.

When I read those sentences, it suddenly all made sense to me.  Why this stage in my life is so special.  Why I feel the need to write about it on the blog that so few people read.  Why I strive to improve with each new step I take.

We live in a world where almost everything about it is readily available to virtual strangers.  At the same time,  we know more than ever about how to shape that intimacy.  That's what this blog is all about, isn't it?  Putting my thoughts out into the world in a way that truly expresses what is on my heart.  I am able to express myself - no one can take that away.  

I have the freedom every day to do what I want still.  I have no husband, no children, at home to answer to.  And yet, as I near the end of the 20s, I've come to realize that that "far shore of adulthood" isn't so far away afterall.  That maybe it's ok to be anchored down a little.

*Did you miss the post on my Facebook page with the link last week?  Make sure you like the page so you don't miss anything in the future!

Musings on a Sunday Evening

• I spent the weekend visiting my boyfriend.  It is beyond wonderful to see him every week, even if we're still  few hours apart and "every week" sometimes means "for an hour for dinner on a random week night."  This weekend we saw each other Friday, Saturday and Sunday so no complaints.  I also get to see him on Tuesday so I'm a happy girl this week!  

• It is freaking cold outside in Wisconsin right now.  I'm handling the cold much better than I expected but my skin is like a lizard.  Disgustingly gross and dry.  If I'm handling the cold, my skin definitely isn't.  I have super sensitive skin so I have to be careful with some products but I'm open to suggestions.  Have you found anything that truly combats these nasty Northern winters?

• The boyfriend gave me the official Ugg slippers for Christmas.  I can say that I would never have spent the money on them myself but they are amazing and I don't think I could go without anymore.  My feet are never cold anymore.  It was the perfect Christmas present - something I did actually need, but a nicer version than I would pay for on my own so it's a little bit of luxury too.  He did good.  What has proven to be your favorite present from the holidays?

• I'm thinking of doing my first giveaway in the near future.  What would you like to win?  Visit and like the Facebook page to share some ideas.

• I am joining the YMCA tomorrow on a quest to get in better shape, lose some of the weight I gained while living in Kentucky, and simply get more healthy.  Oh and I have it in my head that I want to do a short duathlon this summer.  I must be crazy.  Any suggestions on how to stay motivated?

Is that the most random post you've ever read?  Probably.  Just some thoughts for you this evening!

One Word: 2013

I know this is really late but I think it's worth sharing anyway.

When I first heard about the One Word project, I knew I wanted to give it some thought and decide what word I could best use to describe what I want out of 2013.

If I had chosen a word for 2012, it would have been positivity.  It took me a while to think of something that could top that, but I found it.

I thought about going with trust.  I used to trust everyone without questioning.  After having that thrown back in my face one too many times, I've had a hard time getting back to trusting others.
I thought about going with happy.  I am truly happy right now and I want to keep it that way.
I thought about health.  I'm working on some things to get myself in better shape.
I thought about read or write because I really do want to focus on doing more of both of those things this year.

All of those things fell flat.  None of them really expressed what I wanted this year to be about.

The move back to Wisconsin was a chance for me - for once in my life - to follow my heart instead of my head.  To do what felt right instead of what I thought was right.  To put myself as a person - not as a student, employee, daughter, or girlfriend - first.  I learned very quickly that making this move and listening to what my heart was telling me made me a better everything.  I don't need to analyze everything.  Sometimes I just need to trust what my instinct is telling me.

Because of that, 2013 is all about heart.  It's actually going to be a tough one for me.  But I'm working on it and that's all living the one word is about.


Did you do a One Word post this year?  Link it in the comments if you did.  I can't wait to encourage everyone to live their word.

A Quick Review of 2012

Phew.  Now that the holidays are over and I'm a little more settled, I think I might have some more time to focus on the blog.  Maybe not because there never seems to be enough hours in the day but I'm going to try. That's all I can promise right now.

I haven't even had time to write my one word post even though I've chosen my word for 2013.  I haven't finished any good books even though I'm in the middle of three of them.  I never got Christmas cards out.  My tree is still up.  I have piles of laundry that need to be washed.  I've been busy.

I want to start this year by looking back at 2012, even if I'm a week late.  More specifically the last 6 months of 2012.

I started the year a little lost.  I had just been promoted at a job that I truly loved but that I knew I wouldn't be staying in much longer.  I spent the first part of the year trying to figure out how I could be happy in a place that simply wasn't home.  I started focusing on the positive in my life and finding ways to either cut out the negative or simply make it more positive.

I spent most of the summer traveling for work and driving back and forth from Kentucky to Wisconsin for weddings, parties, and family functions.  I moved into a wonderful studio apartment in Lexington just before the Fourth of July and then traveled home for my sister's wedding.

Let's be honest - for a variety of reasons, that wedding was the turning point in my year.

It made me realize that all of the driving back and forth was insane and that I really just wanted to be back by my family and friends.  I was missing things that I couldn't stand to miss anymore.  It was after the wedding that I started looking for the right job to bring my back to Wisconsin more seriously.

It was because of the wedding that I met the wonderful man that I am still dating.  Who knew that after all the crappy dates I've been on in the random states of lived in the guy that I really wanted to be dating was busy living with my new brother-in-law during college?

2.5 months ago, I decided to take a huge leap of faith.  I gave my preliminary notice at work, found someone to sublease my apartment, and applied for a job that I thought I might really like in a place I had never seen before that was only a few hours away from my family and friends (and yes, my boyfriend.)  I interviewed for the job, gave my actual notice, and got offered the job a week later.  I haven't looked back.  I have never once questioned my decision to move back.

It's hard to believe that I've been back in Wisconsin for 7 weeks already.  In some ways, it feels like I've always been here and that the years I spent down South are all a dream.

If 2012 was all about finding positivity in my life, I think I succeeded.  What does 2013 hold for me?  Check back Wednesday when I finally get around to revealing my word for the year!

Thoughts From Monday

As I write this, it is Monday night.  It was a great day at work but I'm tired after not sleeping well Sunday.  I came home after work, warmed up some leftovers for dinner, poured a glass of wine, and am curled up on the couch with two little fluff balls.  I'm keeping the heat somewhat low in my new place to save on energy costs and it's a perfect excuse for lots of cuddling this winter.  You don't see me complaining about it...

It's officially winter here.  I forgot my mittens this morning and by the time I got to work, my hands were severely dry and chapped.  No amount of lotion throughout the day would save them.  By the time I got home tonight, the cuticle on my right hand was so dry and chapped that it was bleeding.  By January, I will be quite a mess.

While watching today's episode of Jeopardy, something I watch almost every day, I realized why I have never completed the Jeopardy test myself.  One woman competing this evening was virtually useless during the first round... on every question except those relating to booze.  She rocked the "Christmas Spirits" category, knowing answers such as peppermint schnapps and bourbon.  I know that would end up being me.

I'm getting a new mattress for Christmas (thanks Mom & Dad!) and need to pick out some new bedding.  I'm at a total loss for what I want to buy.  Apparently "something neutral that matches the carpeting" is trickier to find than I might have expected.

I have barely started my Christmas shopping.  I order the bf's present last night - thankfully I found a great price on the perfect present but that means I need to pick up something else that is small which might be very tricky as he's impossible to shop for.  I haven't done anything for anyone else though.  Something about this year doesn't feel like Christmas.  I think it's all the moving and changes.  my mind just isn't there yet.  Hopefully I get into the Christmas spirit in the next week.  Apparently the three Christmas trees in my house mean nothing.

I don't even know what to say about the tragedy that happened last week.  As I was writing this post, I watched the tribute on The Voice and sobbed like a baby.  What else is there to do?

(And that my friends is a very random post.  Just sharing my thoughts - both happy and sad - for the night.)

What I'm Reading Wednesday

As I mentioned yesterday, I just haven't been feeling inspired to do this whole blogging thing with everything else that's going on.  Just because I'm not writing as much doesn't mean that I'm not reading though!  I keep finding these amazing blog posts that say exactly what I want to say so I figured instead of writing today, I'd share some of my favorite bloggers and their posts from this week that have inspired me.  Maybe you'll learn something or find someone new to read.  You never know...

I have no idea how I found Kati, but she's one of my favorite bloggers.  Kati, if you're reading this, did you know that?  I think we'd be friends in real life.  Anyway.  Swing over there and show her some blog love is you feel so inclined.
Kati wrote this post this week about why she moved to Nebraska.  I kind of feel the same way about why I'm moving to Marshfield.  I mean, yes it's in my home state but it isn't exactly where I thought I'd end up.  Thanks for putting my thoughts into words, Kati!

Nicholl is one of the few fashion bloggers I follow religiously.  I wish I were half that cute.  She's also hysterically funny.  I've been thinking about doing one of the "Fact Is..." linkups and always forget about them until I read hers and than I realize I'm not all that funny.  Her perspective on life is fabulous and she'll make you giggle.  Good enough for me!

 

I started reading Alycia's blog a while back and kept reading because she is one of the most honest and adorable people I have stumbled upon on the internet.  This post from Monday is especially amazing.  We all need a reminder to judging one another sometimes.  I know I do!

If I could sew - which someday I'm determined to learn for real - I would totally make myself this jacket.  Amazing.


See anything you really love?  Click over and let them know!

Warrior Woman

I know I haven't been writing much lately and I apologize.  I don't have much to say.  I'm wrapping up my last week here so I've been busy but I don't really have plans made for the next chapter either.  I mean, I have a job offer but am still waiting for paperwork to come back so it's official, I have an apartment but I've never seen it (special thanks to my mom for taking a day off to do that for me!) so I can't really start planning how to decorate things, a moving company is most likely doing all of the packing and loading of my stuff... nothing is really happening even though a major life change is about to take place.

Everything is just in a holding pattern.

Anyone who knows me knows I'm not good at sitting still so it's driving me crazy.

When I get stressed I suddenly feel the need to take on the world, all by myself.  For some reason, I think I'm a warrior woman who can accomplish everything on her own.  This time though, because of the aforementioned holding pattern, I have nothing that I can accomplish.  So instead of just driving myself crazy, I'm driving everyone around me crazy.

I know from past experience that one of the best ways for me to snap out of it is to literally put myself together - get up in the morning, take a hot shower, do my hair and makeup (not something I do every day - clearly this is not a fashion blog), put on a "strong" outfit, and face the world head on.  So this morning, I went to my go-to warrior woman work outfit.  I can honestly say it's making a difference.

Since I don't plan to share an actual picture of my outfit, here's a sampling.  Let's be real, none of this is what I'm actually wearing because my outfit has been hanging in my closet for quite a while but I tried!

Warrior Woman Outfit by rstarich featuring hue tights

(What, what!  My first Polyvore.  Still not a fashion blog so don't expect many more in the future!)

While it might not look like anything special to you, it makes me feel like I can take on anything.  Do you have a go to Warrior Woman look that helps you put a new attitude on when you're stressed?  I'd love to know what works for you!

Throwback Thursday

I am seriously missing my little sister right now.  The best thing about my moving home is that I will get to see my family more often.  But considering that my sister is living in North Carolina with her husband, kicking vet school's butt, I still won't get to see her as often as I'd like.

Just for good measure, one more photo of how awesome we used to be...

Sweet pants to both of us.  Extra sweet haircut and fanny pack to me.

Opportunity Knocking

One of the most memorable things I've ever learned took place in a 2nd grade classroom.

Back then, our grade school hosted a series of career days. At the time, my mom was running a chain of fast food restaurants. To this day, I'm still convinced that the only reason I had friends that year was because my mom brought in french fries for career day.  But I digress.  The lesson learned had nothing to do with feeding your friends so that they like you.  In fact, after the infamous ChocoTaco debacle of 7th grade, I should have learned that lesson is one worth forgetting.

One of my classmates had an older sister who was married to a Green Bay Packer. If you know anything about Green Bay, you know that means he was pretty much related to a god. The day said player (I honestly wish I could remember his name) came in to talk to us, I'm sure we were all excited to hear about the glamorous life of an NFL player, a lecture on how you should play sports, or a chance to throw a football around.

We weren't prepared for this man to walk into our classroom, hold up a $20 bill, and tell us that whoever took it from him first could keep it.

The entire room full of 2nd graders sat there dumbfounded. What do you mean we can just come take it?

I distinctly remember him giving us multiple opportunities to take that $20 bill. No one moved. We were so afraid we'd somehow get in trouble.

More distinctly, I remember him going into a lecture about seizing opportunities. If someone hands you the chance to do something - something that could make your life a little better, a little easier, make you a little bit richer, a little bit happier - with no strings (or at least very minimal strings) attached TAKE IT. Don't question it. Don't think about all of the bad things that might happen. If you spend too much time dwelling on the negative, you might miss out.

Of course, there are plenty of false opportunities presented to us every day. But when something falls into your lap, when you get a chance to do something you probably never dreamed could happen to you, when everything simply feels right, maybe you should see that as an opportunity to act without thinking it to death.

We all missed out on the $20 bill back then. I wonder if any of my classmates would even remember this story. But for me, it was a defining moment. For the first time I think I realized that if we work hard enough things really might just be handed to us as a bit of a reward.

Big things are happening for me right now and I've been remembering that lesson constantly.

Don't ever pass up the opportunity to do what you know in your heart is right.
Seize that opportunity when it knocks.
Trust that you will find a way to make everything fall into place.

10 Things...

I stumbled across an exercise on a blog I used to follow* that shared a 10/10/10 list. The exercise was inspired by this post. And while I'm sure both the blogger I used to follow (who shall remain unnamed since she's a great blogger, just not my thing) and this Cheryl Richardson are wonderful people, I won't be following either of them anytime soon. 

That being said, this is something that I've been off and on doing in my head all week anyway so I figured I might as well give it a shot out loud.  Only I made it a 5-er list because that's what came to me easily and the point wasn't to think about this ALL DAY.

Try it and see what you think.

Five Things To Say Yes To

• An awesome opportunity to see some of the most important people in your life, even if it stretches the budget and requires time you don't have
• A glass of wine after work with a girlfriend who you don't get to see very often
• Another book recommendation
• An invitation from the cat to stretch out on the bed after work and scratch her between the ears for a while
• Warming up leftovers for dinner because you're too lazy to cook

Five Things To Say No To

• A ride home when you walked to work and it might drizzle sometime in the next hour
• The friend-request from someone who once sat next to you in a random class in high school and told you that you weren't good enough to be their friend or any email, text message, or Facebook request from an ex-boyfriend
• An invitation to go out on the weekend when you just really don't want to go
• The "opportunity" to serve on another committee which means next to nothing to you
• Wearing shoes around the house (or under your desk for that matter)

Five Things That Will Make My Life Better

• Trying to start over on the exercise plan I developed two weeks ago that I have accomplished exactly once
• Working harder on my relationships with real and honest friends
• Figuring out how to organize my closet and drawers to make it easier to find everything I own so that it actually gets worn
• Getting back into the habit of not biting my nails
• Feeling confident that I can make the right decision for myself every time

I'm adding one of my own, just as a reminder...

Five Things That Will NEVER Make My Life Better

• Beating myself up about the fact that I can't fit everything that should get done into every single day
• Going out of my way to please friends who would never go out of their way to return the favor
• Another dress / pair of boots / sweater... no matter how cute they are
• Splurging on another crappy nail polish color that will only get worn once in an effort to motivate myself to stop chewing my nails until they bleed
• Listening to what everyone in the peanut gallery has to say about how to live my life

So there you have it, friends.  I should add "blogging daily" to my five things to say yes to list but we'll get there again someday.  In the meantime, know that I'm trying all while having lots of long-distance phone conversations, snuggling with my fluffy babies, and trying to keep the clutter at bay in my apartment, all while working, working, working.  

*I have to admit that all of the blog reading I started doing over the summer in order to inspire my own blog got overwhelming and left me even less inspired. Really it just made me feel not good enough, not pretty enough, not rich enough, and way too busy to possible do the things those people were doing. So I spent the last few weeks unsubscribing from blogs. If you're a reader and I unsubscribed from yours, please don't take it personally. I just realized that it isn't doing me any good to following things that don't resonate with me. Blogging is a personal journey and there are plenty of people who I follow who I don't really have much in common with but who still somehow enrich my life, my own writing, etc. There were so many more though that I got nothing from - I don't like their sense of style, find their politics (or grammar for that matter) offensive, whatever. So in an effort to declutter my life and clear my head, I unsubscribed. Sorry. It needed to be done.

Selfish

I haven't been around lately and I'd like to say that I'm sorry but then I'd be lying. 

I've taken a little bit of a hiatus. I've shared a few times that I'm struggling to find my voice in the blogging world and that's still true. But it's also true that I have a backlog of blog post ideas just waiting to be written and I simply don't have the time or energy to do so.

I've been exhausted lately - physically, mentally, and emotionally - by the time I get home at night. Sitting down and writing just hasn't been happening. There are nights that sitting down for dinner hasn't even happened! Some of you are reading this and thinking "this girl needs to see a counselor because she's depressed" and that's just not the case. I've been in bad places before and this isn't one of them. I couldn't be much happier, to be honest. I'm just tired.

I've also been a little selfish. 

I had plenty of time this weekend to write. I worked until 2pm on Saturday and then came home and didn't leave the apartment again until 8am this morning. Yep, you read that right. It was amazing. I didn't even talk to anyone on the phone for more than a minute at a time until last night when the boy called me to catch up after what was a very busy weekend for him. I did 11 loads of laundry, 2 sinks full of dishes, watched a lot of movies, and caught up on sleep and snuggle time with the girls. Writing for an audience just wasn't part of the selfish to-do list.

To top it all off, I've been traveling a lot again. The best thing about traveling is that I get back to the hotel room at the end of a long day, curl up in a bed that is cat hair free and that I know I won't have to make in the morning, and can do almost anything I want. Catch up on digital versions of my magazines, read e-books, delete emails. All of that is electronic because I've been traveling with my work iPad, which is nice in terms of light packing, but awful if you want to write anything substantial. I don't even like replying to emails on that thing, much less writing a few hundred words of backlogged blog posts. Am I the only one who absolutely cannot type on a touch screen?! More importantly - am I missing some great "blogger" app that would make the whole blogging from the iPad thing easier??

I'll be back for real someday. I promise. Maybe I'll feel motivated to write again soon. I did just create a weekly workout / get things done around the house / take "me time" to-do list. I love lists. If adding "write 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week" to the list gets the job done, so be it. No guarantees that the writing will make it to the blog but it's better than nothing.

Why I Blog

Alternatively Titled: What I Don't Blog About

I've been having a bit of a blogging identity crisis for the last month or so. I got this fantastic new design, my readership is up (at least slightly), I've been posting regularly... but none of it has felt genuine. 

I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, writing about it, consulting others in the blog world, reading literally hundreds of other blogs, and debating what to do about it.

I boiled it down to a couple of questions. Most importantly, why do I blog in the first place?

I started blogging to give me an outlet to write, specifically about my life, my babies, and my books. I have always been a reader first and a writer second - with everything else in my life coming after those two priorities to be honest - and I wanted some place to combine the two. I planned to write a blog to share with others but of course, like all bloggers, hoped to grow my readership well beyond my small social circle.

I started blogging to give myself a voice.

I started blogging to keep my family up-to-date on all of the life changes - at least the ones I am able to share on the Internet.

After answering my first question, I moved on to the second. What don't I want to write about?

I love fashion - and admittedly have a shopping problem - but don't have any desire to write about that. Mostly because I have a crappy camera that takes terrible pictures, I don't have a roommate or spouse to help me out, and honestly, I just hate how I look in photographs. Wonky eyeballs - trust me. So a fashion-focused blog is out.

I cook a lot but mostly things that don't require a recipe. No one cares about how I spruced up my store-bought spaghetti sauce with an extra green pepper I had laying around. It might taste great but seriously - who cares?

I'm not all that crafty. When I am, it's usually an idea I stole off the internet so there's no need for me to put it out there again.

I'm not a mom so clearly I can't be a mommy blogger - unless I talk about my cats all the time. And while I love them, even I would get sick of that.

I don't travel to exotic places and the vast majority of my travel is work related so really, there's nothing to talk about there.

I'm not a photographer (see aforementioned comment about crappy camera and wonky eyeballs) so personally, I have no desire to have a photo-heavy blog.

All of these "NO" answers left me without a niche - something you supposedly need in the blogging world. And yet, I still want to write. I've heard that no one reads blogs with lots of words and that might be true. I might never have 1,000 followers (or 100 for that matter) and I might never have 10,000 hits a day (or a week or a year) but I want to write. Plus, I read text heavy blogs every single day. In fact, some of my favorite blogs are published by people who I have never met but who let me into their life every day through their words - not their pictures!

I emailed one of those bloggers this morning to thank them for being true to themselves and inspiring someone like me to keep writing. She replied with this profound thought.

I'm not a "niche" blogger. Some say you "have" to have a niche. Okay, fine. So, my niche, then, is "Aramelle."

So I'm stealing that. My niche is now "Rikki." I'm going to keep writing about me, my cats, and my books. Some people may not like it but I'm not doing it for some people. I'm doing it for me. I'd love for you to hang in there with me but if you don't want to read this much, I'll understand.

Monday Reminder: Follow Your Dreams

The quote above so perfectly embodies why I hold on to my dreams.  Having dreams, sometimes seemingly unattainable goals, allows me to stretch beyond my comfort zone and fly to places I could never imagine.  I first read this quote on a graduation card which was given to me in 2003.  I have long since lost the rest of the card - only saving the front with the applicable quote - and have no idea who gave it to me.  But the quote has shaped my life for almost a decade and because of that I wanted to share it!

When I thought about sharing this quote with you, I knew I wanted to feature beautiful photography taken by someone I hold dear - someone who also subscribes to the "follow your dreams" philosophy - namely, my friend Bobbi who took the photo above and recently launched her own photography business.  As she states on her company's Facebook page, her photography is "spiritual, emotional, and natural."  That statement, and the launching of the business itself, sums up the philosophy described above and her photos truly reflect her style.  I am proud to call her a friend and share her work with all of you!  Take a moment to check out her work and if you're in the Lexington area, consider doing business with her.  

Let this quote and photo guide your day today.  Allow yourself to be lifted up and guided to places you never imagined.  And never, no matter what, never stop dreaming.

Happy Monday!

Happy Monday, friends! I am bound and determined to make this a better week than last. Not that last week was necessarily bad, it just wanted great either and I could use a great week.

Now for a quick recap of the weekend. I'm linking up with Kati again for a "Good, Bad & Ugly" style recap. It's nice to link up on things like this - helpful knowing that other people are out there sending positive thoughts my way as I deal with my uglies!

The Good - All around, it was a good weekend. My apartment is finally settled (or as settled as it can be right now!) which means I'll be doing more apartment unveilings in the next couple of weeks. The weekend was full of doing stuff around the house, spending time with friends, and watching the Olympics. The cats were certainly happy to have me home a lot!

The Bad - It's going to be another busy week, ended by a very long drive again. So much road tripping for me lately! But the road trip is for a very good reason so I am in no way complaining about that!

The Ugly - I am so mad at myself. After working so hard to grow my nails out for the wedding, I've gone back to chewing them off again when I'm stressed. It has more to do with the fact that I haven't been painting them every night because I haven't had the energy but I'm still disappointed in myself. Maybe saying it out loud will help break the habit again. I trimmed them down yesterday and painted them, hoping to break the cycle. Wish me luck!

A Quick Shot of Good Karma

I am a firm believer in the concept of karma - that what you put out in the world has a direct impact on what comes into your world.  People laugh at me all the time because I have some very small, yet strange habits, that simply exist to put good karma out in my world.

I always hold the elevator for people if I see them coming.  The 15 seconds I have to wait will have no real effect on my day, even if I'm running late for something. However, depending on the building, the other person may have to wait a good 5 minutes for the elevator to come back to them and that really could have an effect on their day.

I always let people merge in traffic.  The goal is that some day I'll be in a huge hurry for something supremely important and magically the universe will clear all of the traffic out of my way.  Or at least I won't miss my exit because someone was being a jerk. 

Likewise, I don't care how far behind me they are, I always pull over for a police car, ambulance, or fire truck coming up with sirens blaring.  There is nothing more disgusting to me than people who use that unfortunate situation to get around traffic faster.  PULL OVER.  If I ever need to get to the hospital really quickly, or if my house is burning down or I just got shot, I think my little habit will get help to me faster.  It certainly won't slow them down. 

I always hold the door open for people either coming or going.  Much like the elevator, it doesn't take me any extra time and it's just a nice thing to do. 

Last but not least, I always smile at waitstaff, retail workers, fast food employees, etc. I've worked those jobs and they suck. People aren't all that nice to you and you're working your butt off to make a little money. I've learned that being a little extra nice can go a long way toward getting better service - thereby making your day better. If that isn't karma in motion, I don't know what is. 

Anything you find yourself doing every day to put good karma out in the universe?

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

I've been considering creating another series, this time focusing on my favorite "game" from college, Stabjaborhug.  Basically, it's a good, bad, and ugly game but it's a catchy name.

For now, I'll just link up with Kati for her Monday Good, Bad, and Ugly and see how that goes for a while!

The Good - We survived the night of 3 adults, 3 cats, and a dog in 475 sq feet.  It as wonderful to see my sister and we literally laughed until we cried.  If you haven't seen this - 35 Unexplainable Photos Of Cats - on Buzzfeed click that link now and laugh as hard as we did.

The Bad - The next couple of months are looking crazy.  I just want to take a real vacation and instead I'm going to be deal with an ever-increasingly crazy schedule.  I'm tired just thinking about it.

The Ugly - My attitude today is seriously crappy.  I didn't want to get out of bed.  I couldn't find the pants I wanted to wear so threw on a skirt and as I was running out the door (already late!) I realized I hadn't shaved my legs so had to stop and fix that.  My shoes are pinching my feet even though they're normally comfortable.  I have found a few little glitches with the new blog layout that didn't exist in the test version (hence the lack of pictures... what is going on with my fonts?!).  I am grouchy, grouchy, grouchy.  I feel so bad for the people who have to talk to me.

I'd say happy Monday but clearly I am not that cheerful today.  Hope your Monday is going better than mine!

Summer Bucket List

Ah!  Am I the only one freaked out that summer is already half over?  I don't, of course, mean the literal season of summer, but rather the June - August summer that we (sorta) get in education.

In order to actually enjoy my summer, now that it's flying by, I've made a list of the top 7 things I really need to do between now and Labor Day.  I considered doing a top 10 list but it is summer after all and I didn't want to stress myself out trying to add in fun things to the craziness - that would completely defeat the purpose.  One a week suffices.

1. Lexington Legends Baseball   2. Kentucky Fried Chicken   3. Amazon   4. My sad little tomato plant

5. Lexington Farmers Market   6. Target   7.   Better Homes and Gardens

Complete description of my summer bucket list after the jump!

The Great Hair Debate

Anyone who has known me for more than a year knows that I can rock quite a wide variety of hairstyles.  Let's take a quick trip through the last six years, shall we?

Yep, all of those hairstyles in the last six years.  It's been really long and really short, really brown and really red, and everything in between.

I grew my hair out for my sister's wedding and fully expected to chop it the Monday after because I've always loved it super short.  But now I'm not so sure.  What do you think?

Should I go super short again ala Ginnifer Goodwin?  Stick somewhere in the middle like this sassy style?  Or keep it longer like my new hair idol Kate from The Small Things Blog?  

Someone please weigh in.  Its not often that I need other people's opinions!

Monday Reminder: Decisions

Maybe I'm the only one wrestling with life-changing things bright an early on a Monday morning (or all the time lately!), but I doubt it.  Wanted to share a good reminder with everyone else who is also making big decisions.

Happy Monday!  May your day be productive and full of love, laughter, and good decision-making skills.

Redefining Happiness

A while back, I wrote a post "Celebrating Women" in honor of Mothers Day.  In addition to the writings I've done on the topic, I've been following along with some of the "Mommy Wars" (please tell me you didn't miss this little gem from The Bloggess) which really aren't limited to "Mommies" but rather have tentacles to women everywhere who are just trying to do the best they can.  Too much of the conversation these days is negativity about how women are perfect at one aspect of their life and not at every other area.

The latest controversial post to hit the big time is this article by Anne-Marie Slaughter entitled "Why Women Still Can't Have it All."  Her article, written from the perspective of an incredibly high-powered woman, resonates with me big time.  I've been doing a lot of soul searching about what my priorities are, what I see for my future, whether I ever want to settle down and start a family, what kind of person I want to be remembered as... all big things hanging over my head for the last six months or so.  I don't know what all of my answers will be to those big questions yet but I do know that I need to redefine my own version of the American Dream if I want to survive.


I've learned that no one, not men or women, no one can possibly survive and really have it all because our definition of "having it all" is a disaster.  Something has to suffer because we are not super-human.  I hate to break it to all of you out there who are still "living the dream" but it isn't possible to do everything perfectly 100% of the time!  And it may never be possible but certainly not right now.  I love Slaughter's closing paragraph of the article.

We’ll create a better society in the process, for all women. We may need to put a woman in the White House before we are able to change the conditions of the women working at Walmart. But when we do, we will stop talking about whether women can have it all. We will properly focus on how we can help all Americans have healthy, happy, productive lives, valuing the people they love as much as the success they seek.

Re-envisioning what "success" means is a tough lesson for me sometimes because I truly love being seen as someone who excels in a career-focused environment.  I like being a big fish in a small pond, if you will, but in order to be that, even though I'm new to this whole career thing and not finished with my education, I have had to set other things aside.

I don't even have a family yet or possibly ever (aka - children... because you couldn't possibly have a family if you haven't given birth) and I've still had to make some tough decisions about how I want to prioritize my life.  I took a job in a city where I didn't know anyone, far away from my family, in order to excel in my career.  I've done exactly that.  But for the first 2 years that I lived here, that was all that I did.  I can honestly say that I didn't really have friends in that time - much less have any semblance of a dating life.  In order to be closer to my family, I'll probably have to take a step back in my career.  I have always wanted to pursue my PhD but that requires me to put my career on hold completely and probably move to an entirely new and different place.    As I've realized that I can't put relationships on hold, and can't rule out the fact that I may want to settle down some day, I've realized that might mean making sacrifices in my career.  The problem is, I don't like sacrifice.


That being said, the latest realization I've come to is that maybe I don't need to be "the best" at anything.  Maybe just being average at it all is ok.  I hate mediocrity but that's not what I'm talking about.  Maybe it's absolutely perfect not to climb so high in my career, pursue the terminal degree in the same way I once thought, marry a rich doctor and have a dozen perfectly adjusted kids.  


Maybe the American dream, having it all, should be more along the lines of finding a career that you love and that you are decent at, get as much education as you enjoy getting, fall in love if you meet someone worthy of sharing the rest of your life and have kids if it suits you.  


It's not lowering expectations.  It's redefining happiness.  At least for me it is.