One Word: 2013

I know this is really late but I think it's worth sharing anyway.

When I first heard about the One Word project, I knew I wanted to give it some thought and decide what word I could best use to describe what I want out of 2013.

If I had chosen a word for 2012, it would have been positivity.  It took me a while to think of something that could top that, but I found it.

I thought about going with trust.  I used to trust everyone without questioning.  After having that thrown back in my face one too many times, I've had a hard time getting back to trusting others.
I thought about going with happy.  I am truly happy right now and I want to keep it that way.
I thought about health.  I'm working on some things to get myself in better shape.
I thought about read or write because I really do want to focus on doing more of both of those things this year.

All of those things fell flat.  None of them really expressed what I wanted this year to be about.

The move back to Wisconsin was a chance for me - for once in my life - to follow my heart instead of my head.  To do what felt right instead of what I thought was right.  To put myself as a person - not as a student, employee, daughter, or girlfriend - first.  I learned very quickly that making this move and listening to what my heart was telling me made me a better everything.  I don't need to analyze everything.  Sometimes I just need to trust what my instinct is telling me.

Because of that, 2013 is all about heart.  It's actually going to be a tough one for me.  But I'm working on it and that's all living the one word is about.


Did you do a One Word post this year?  Link it in the comments if you did.  I can't wait to encourage everyone to live their word.

A Quick Review of 2012

Phew.  Now that the holidays are over and I'm a little more settled, I think I might have some more time to focus on the blog.  Maybe not because there never seems to be enough hours in the day but I'm going to try. That's all I can promise right now.

I haven't even had time to write my one word post even though I've chosen my word for 2013.  I haven't finished any good books even though I'm in the middle of three of them.  I never got Christmas cards out.  My tree is still up.  I have piles of laundry that need to be washed.  I've been busy.

I want to start this year by looking back at 2012, even if I'm a week late.  More specifically the last 6 months of 2012.

I started the year a little lost.  I had just been promoted at a job that I truly loved but that I knew I wouldn't be staying in much longer.  I spent the first part of the year trying to figure out how I could be happy in a place that simply wasn't home.  I started focusing on the positive in my life and finding ways to either cut out the negative or simply make it more positive.

I spent most of the summer traveling for work and driving back and forth from Kentucky to Wisconsin for weddings, parties, and family functions.  I moved into a wonderful studio apartment in Lexington just before the Fourth of July and then traveled home for my sister's wedding.

Let's be honest - for a variety of reasons, that wedding was the turning point in my year.

It made me realize that all of the driving back and forth was insane and that I really just wanted to be back by my family and friends.  I was missing things that I couldn't stand to miss anymore.  It was after the wedding that I started looking for the right job to bring my back to Wisconsin more seriously.

It was because of the wedding that I met the wonderful man that I am still dating.  Who knew that after all the crappy dates I've been on in the random states of lived in the guy that I really wanted to be dating was busy living with my new brother-in-law during college?

2.5 months ago, I decided to take a huge leap of faith.  I gave my preliminary notice at work, found someone to sublease my apartment, and applied for a job that I thought I might really like in a place I had never seen before that was only a few hours away from my family and friends (and yes, my boyfriend.)  I interviewed for the job, gave my actual notice, and got offered the job a week later.  I haven't looked back.  I have never once questioned my decision to move back.

It's hard to believe that I've been back in Wisconsin for 7 weeks already.  In some ways, it feels like I've always been here and that the years I spent down South are all a dream.

If 2012 was all about finding positivity in my life, I think I succeeded.  What does 2013 hold for me?  Check back Wednesday when I finally get around to revealing my word for the year!

Don't Read This if You Love "Baby It's Cold Outside"

Remember yesterday when I posted about the holiday music swap?

So it's no real secret that I love Christmas music.  I love old classics almost as much as I love current pop holiday tunes.  That being said, there is one song that it's wildly popular which I absolutely cannot stand.

"Baby, It's Cold Outside"

If you don't want it ruined forever, please stop reading.  But it more than just bugs me so I think I'm allowed to share why.

Warrior Woman

I know I haven't been writing much lately and I apologize.  I don't have much to say.  I'm wrapping up my last week here so I've been busy but I don't really have plans made for the next chapter either.  I mean, I have a job offer but am still waiting for paperwork to come back so it's official, I have an apartment but I've never seen it (special thanks to my mom for taking a day off to do that for me!) so I can't really start planning how to decorate things, a moving company is most likely doing all of the packing and loading of my stuff... nothing is really happening even though a major life change is about to take place.

Everything is just in a holding pattern.

Anyone who knows me knows I'm not good at sitting still so it's driving me crazy.

When I get stressed I suddenly feel the need to take on the world, all by myself.  For some reason, I think I'm a warrior woman who can accomplish everything on her own.  This time though, because of the aforementioned holding pattern, I have nothing that I can accomplish.  So instead of just driving myself crazy, I'm driving everyone around me crazy.

I know from past experience that one of the best ways for me to snap out of it is to literally put myself together - get up in the morning, take a hot shower, do my hair and makeup (not something I do every day - clearly this is not a fashion blog), put on a "strong" outfit, and face the world head on.  So this morning, I went to my go-to warrior woman work outfit.  I can honestly say it's making a difference.

Since I don't plan to share an actual picture of my outfit, here's a sampling.  Let's be real, none of this is what I'm actually wearing because my outfit has been hanging in my closet for quite a while but I tried!

Warrior Woman Outfit by rstarich featuring hue tights

(What, what!  My first Polyvore.  Still not a fashion blog so don't expect many more in the future!)

While it might not look like anything special to you, it makes me feel like I can take on anything.  Do you have a go to Warrior Woman look that helps you put a new attitude on when you're stressed?  I'd love to know what works for you!

Ode to my Home State

I don't think it's a secret to anyone who knows me that I have always been, and will always be, a Wisconsin girl.  My friends and family are up in Wisconsin (or Minneapolis, but that's pretty much the same thing minus their crappy football team), I am totally a beer, cheese, and football kind of girl, and I can even say I don't mind the winters that much.

When I left the Midwest four years ago to move to Nashville, I really didn't believe I'd ever go back north.  Maybe to the Twin Cities, but certainly not to Wisconsin.  I have always loved my home state but I didn't know if I would ever want to live there again.

I was wrong.

In the last year and a half, I have grown increasingly homesick.  Not in the I can't wait to visit sort of way but more of the I wish I never had to leave way.  My trips back have become more frequent and much longer than in the past.  I've started reconnecting with some of the people I used to be friends with and started keeping an eye out for the right job that could bring me home.

The thing is that I truly love my life in Kentucky.  I love my job most days, have an excellent apartment even if I've only lived there for a few months, have amazing friends even if it took me a while to find them, and almost appreciate horse racing and basketball even if I'll never get into drinking bourbon.  I knew I wouldn't leave for just anything.  Kentucky could easily have become home to me.

For a wide variety of reasons - my family, my best friends, and yes of course my boyfriend even if he wouldn't want to read that - I decided a few months ago to get serious about this whole moving back to Wisconsin thing.

Suddenly the time felt right to get it over with.  To leave this place that I've come to love and to build my life in a place that is so amazingly familiar and supportive and wonderful to me.

It's been a whirlwind couple of weeks to say the least because, all of a sudden, everything came together quickly.

Two weeks ago, I still didn't think I'd be leaving for another couple of months at least.  And then, in less than 24 hours, I found a sub-leaser for my apartment.  Once that was done, I decided to give my notice at work because I had a few things in the works up in Wisconsin and figured I could get a serving job to get by until I found something full-time.  And then I was offered an awesome job - in my field, doing something I love, for a company that I think will be amazing to work for.

All of that is to say, I'm moving back.  I will officially be home by Thanksgiving.

Some of you are probably thinking that all came in the wrong order - give up my apartment, quit my job, then get a new one - but honestly, everything about it was perfect.  I simply had to trust that it would work out. I wasn't wrong.

I'm so sad to be leaving my friends here and will miss everyone dreadfully.  At the same time, I am so incredibly excited for what lies ahead.  Wish me luck!

Opportunity Knocking

One of the most memorable things I've ever learned took place in a 2nd grade classroom.

Back then, our grade school hosted a series of career days. At the time, my mom was running a chain of fast food restaurants. To this day, I'm still convinced that the only reason I had friends that year was because my mom brought in french fries for career day.  But I digress.  The lesson learned had nothing to do with feeding your friends so that they like you.  In fact, after the infamous ChocoTaco debacle of 7th grade, I should have learned that lesson is one worth forgetting.

One of my classmates had an older sister who was married to a Green Bay Packer. If you know anything about Green Bay, you know that means he was pretty much related to a god. The day said player (I honestly wish I could remember his name) came in to talk to us, I'm sure we were all excited to hear about the glamorous life of an NFL player, a lecture on how you should play sports, or a chance to throw a football around.

We weren't prepared for this man to walk into our classroom, hold up a $20 bill, and tell us that whoever took it from him first could keep it.

The entire room full of 2nd graders sat there dumbfounded. What do you mean we can just come take it?

I distinctly remember him giving us multiple opportunities to take that $20 bill. No one moved. We were so afraid we'd somehow get in trouble.

More distinctly, I remember him going into a lecture about seizing opportunities. If someone hands you the chance to do something - something that could make your life a little better, a little easier, make you a little bit richer, a little bit happier - with no strings (or at least very minimal strings) attached TAKE IT. Don't question it. Don't think about all of the bad things that might happen. If you spend too much time dwelling on the negative, you might miss out.

Of course, there are plenty of false opportunities presented to us every day. But when something falls into your lap, when you get a chance to do something you probably never dreamed could happen to you, when everything simply feels right, maybe you should see that as an opportunity to act without thinking it to death.

We all missed out on the $20 bill back then. I wonder if any of my classmates would even remember this story. But for me, it was a defining moment. For the first time I think I realized that if we work hard enough things really might just be handed to us as a bit of a reward.

Big things are happening for me right now and I've been remembering that lesson constantly.

Don't ever pass up the opportunity to do what you know in your heart is right.
Seize that opportunity when it knocks.
Trust that you will find a way to make everything fall into place.

Why I Blog

Alternatively Titled: What I Don't Blog About

I've been having a bit of a blogging identity crisis for the last month or so. I got this fantastic new design, my readership is up (at least slightly), I've been posting regularly... but none of it has felt genuine. 

I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, writing about it, consulting others in the blog world, reading literally hundreds of other blogs, and debating what to do about it.

I boiled it down to a couple of questions. Most importantly, why do I blog in the first place?

I started blogging to give me an outlet to write, specifically about my life, my babies, and my books. I have always been a reader first and a writer second - with everything else in my life coming after those two priorities to be honest - and I wanted some place to combine the two. I planned to write a blog to share with others but of course, like all bloggers, hoped to grow my readership well beyond my small social circle.

I started blogging to give myself a voice.

I started blogging to keep my family up-to-date on all of the life changes - at least the ones I am able to share on the Internet.

After answering my first question, I moved on to the second. What don't I want to write about?

I love fashion - and admittedly have a shopping problem - but don't have any desire to write about that. Mostly because I have a crappy camera that takes terrible pictures, I don't have a roommate or spouse to help me out, and honestly, I just hate how I look in photographs. Wonky eyeballs - trust me. So a fashion-focused blog is out.

I cook a lot but mostly things that don't require a recipe. No one cares about how I spruced up my store-bought spaghetti sauce with an extra green pepper I had laying around. It might taste great but seriously - who cares?

I'm not all that crafty. When I am, it's usually an idea I stole off the internet so there's no need for me to put it out there again.

I'm not a mom so clearly I can't be a mommy blogger - unless I talk about my cats all the time. And while I love them, even I would get sick of that.

I don't travel to exotic places and the vast majority of my travel is work related so really, there's nothing to talk about there.

I'm not a photographer (see aforementioned comment about crappy camera and wonky eyeballs) so personally, I have no desire to have a photo-heavy blog.

All of these "NO" answers left me without a niche - something you supposedly need in the blogging world. And yet, I still want to write. I've heard that no one reads blogs with lots of words and that might be true. I might never have 1,000 followers (or 100 for that matter) and I might never have 10,000 hits a day (or a week or a year) but I want to write. Plus, I read text heavy blogs every single day. In fact, some of my favorite blogs are published by people who I have never met but who let me into their life every day through their words - not their pictures!

I emailed one of those bloggers this morning to thank them for being true to themselves and inspiring someone like me to keep writing. She replied with this profound thought.

I'm not a "niche" blogger. Some say you "have" to have a niche. Okay, fine. So, my niche, then, is "Aramelle."

So I'm stealing that. My niche is now "Rikki." I'm going to keep writing about me, my cats, and my books. Some people may not like it but I'm not doing it for some people. I'm doing it for me. I'd love for you to hang in there with me but if you don't want to read this much, I'll understand.

Favorite Things Friday!

How is it Friday again already? This summer is flying by and moving so slowly at the same time. Is it Labor Day yet? PLEASE?

Anyway, before I get to my typical Favorite Things Friday / Hive Five for Friday post, I need to get something off my chest. I realized something yesterday. Something worth celebrating as more than just a favorite thing.

There's been kind of a big thing happening in my life lately that I haven't talked much about, other than a hint here or there. Honestly, there have been a lot of big things in my life lately - lots of life changing decisions being made - all of which have been teaching me little things. While talking to a friend of mine yesterday, I had an epiphany though.  

I realized (for sadly the first time that I can remember) that I deserve to have people in my life who make me happier.

What's that? That's an epiphany? Yep.

See, I'm a giver. I like to make other people happy, sometimes at my own expense. I also don't like to be a burden on anyone else so I'm quick to take care of myself, pamper myself a little, and don't expect others to go out of their way to make my life easier. I can do it on my own. I don't ask a lot of my friends and family (at least I don't think I do) and am perfectly happy on my own.

Take note. The realization had nothing to do with needing other people in my life in order to be happy. Not in the least. Read it again. The realization was that I deserve to have people in my life who are willing to make me happier.

It may not make sense to you all but it's blowing my mind.

Even better? My life is full of those people right now. Think I'll keep all of you around for a while!

So let's call that my very favorite thing that happened to me and proceed with the next four, shall we?

Behold, The New Apartment

Anyone who knows me, knows that I have a love / hate relationship with moving.  Like, I love living in my new places and trying new parts of various cities but I hate packing and the physical act of moving.

So I've decided to move yet again.  In a week.  Two days before I leave to go home for my sister's wedding.  During the busiest work week for the year.  Sheesh. 

If you're friends with me on Facebook, you've probably read my rants about my loud neighbors and the weird bugs I get in my current apartment and all of that.  I've done the pretty big, really old house with lots of character that costs a fortune to heat and cool for the last year so I'm changing to the opposite end of the spectrum.

I'm renting a studio in a high rise apartment building right down town.  In a building with an indoor pool and hot tub, one block from where I hang out ALL THE TIME and only 5 blocks from work.  Above the library.  (Which of course means more book reviews coming soon!)

Yes, downsizing is a little scary.  But I'll be saving money, will be in the heart of downtown, and have a killer view out my window.  You'll have to wait to see pictures until I'm all moved in an settled (exciting things coming your way, trust me!) but in the meantime, I need a little advice on this whole downsizing thing.

If you want to help with some furniture arrangement / give me some input on my ideas, feel free to click the link below.  If you'd rather be surprised, then don't.  Up to you!  (But really, I could use the help.)

Maybe I Really Can Do Anything...

One of my coworkers jokingly asks on a regular basis if there is anything I can't do.  I've accomplished a lot in my life, mostly though my own hard work and the support of pretty great people around me.  But there's is one thing I have never been able to do.

Quit biting my nails.

For people who don't have this habit, it sounds so simply.  Just stop.  Or keep them painted.  Or use that bitter stuff.

Easier said than done.

I have quit a lot of things in my life, in addition to the aforementioned accomplishments.  I quit smoking.  I've "quit" people who were worse than bad habits.  I've quit jobs.  But quitting the nail biting?  Nope.  No such luck.

Until recently.

I really wanted natural nails for my sister's wedding.  And more than just natural, I didn't want them to look painful.  You see, I used to bite my nails to the point that they bled.  And then I'd chew around the finger nails and down to the cuticles.  If I painted my nails, I just chipped off the polish until I could get to the nails again.  But I was bound and determined to have pretty nails for the up coming wedding.

It may very well be the hardest thing I've ever done.  And I'm not exaggerating.

But here, without further ado, is a photo of how far I've come.

It is really hard to take pictures of your own hands, FYI.

Let's take a closer look, shall we?

THOSE ARE REAL FREAKING NAILS!!

I've been keeping them painted to help strengthen them, but last Friday I had to take the polish off because they had chipped and I had some important meetings to attend.  I panicked a little because I had just enough time to take off the polish but not enough time to repaint them.  And I made it a whole day without chewing, picking, or biting.

If I really can break this habit, maybe I really can do anything I set my mind to.

Have you done anything recently that you're really proud of?

Letting Us Grow

Another feature in my post-Mothers Day reflection.

As I mentioned the other day, I regularly read the Mama PhD blog on InsideHigherEd.com.  All of the women have unique perspectives on motherhood in academia - something that I hope to know a bit about should I decide I want to do the having children thing.  Another recent post in the Math Geek Mom series caught my attention in the same way the article I shared earlier this week did.

This article talks about how children grow exponentially.  And of course, it makes me think about all the things I've done to my parents that probably made them realize the same thing.

Learning how to read at such a young age.

Dropping Mom's hand on the way to the bus stop on the first day of kindergarten, telling her "this was just something I needed to do on my own," and leaving her a block away to cry and wave from a far.

Starting a choir from scratch at our church for kids 3yo-6yo with a good friend* while in middle school.  And going on to direct it for years.  And now going back to watch those kids who sang for me back in the day graduate from high school and college (now I'm realizing how times moves exponentially!)

Learning to drive... in the Princess-mobile.

Venturing off to college in the big city of Minneapolis at a school I had chosen in 9th grade (for who knows what reason) where I didn't really know anyone.

Picking up everything and moving to Nashville to go back to school in a city where I really only knew one person.

Moving to Lexington for my current job.

Sometimes, I think it was just yesterday that I was that little girl playing dress up in the backyard (lets be real, if I could get away with it, I probably would have done that yesterday) and then I realize that I'm a real adult with real adult problems and real adult bills and real adult relationships.

Not all of my milestones were good ones.  There have been some really rocky roads in my 27 years.  Deaths of friends and children - people who were way to young to die.
Scary and dark moments in my life.  Scary and dark moments in my friends lives.
Years were we didn't get along.  Family problems.

I am so incredibly thankful that my parents didn't shelter me from those times.  They allowed me to figure things out, to feel, to think out loud, to interact with the real world. 

Thanks Mom & Dad.

Really.  Thank you.

Celebrating Women

So I know Mothers Day has come and gone but I'm a bit behind on my "daily" reading of articles, other blogs, magazines, on and on and on... So bear with me.  This week, I'll be writing a few different posts responding to a couple of things I should have read closer to Mothers Day.  I want to reflect on these, mostly because my mom is a) awesome and b) incredible but also because it's worth discussing the power of awesome and incredible women every day not just one day in the year where Hallmark tells us to talk about it.  That's not to say I think of Mothers Day as just a Hallmark holiday in the least.  Quite the opposite.

This paragraph from a recent Math Geek Mom post on Mama PhD, a blog I read regularly from InsideHigherEd.com, has stuck with me.

Mother’s Day is often anticipated with advertisements for flowers and greeting cards, with hardly a mention of the very radical origin of the day. Indeed, the day was created by Julia Ward Howe in 1870 as a day for women, especially mothers, to come together to work for peace. The day’s founders proposed that the women of the world, with a vested interest in the well-being of the next generation, could find ways to create a better world. As I think of the women I know who mother, I have to agree.

If that's true, which I'm assuming it is, that's awesome.  Seriously awesome.  In part because Mothers Day isn't about being a good mom or a bad mom or a trying-really-hard mom or not being a mom at all.  It's about celebrating women.

Celebrating the power of women coming together to change the world.  

Celebrating leaving this place better for those that come after us than it was for our own generations.

I've talked about this a little before, but I want to discuss it again.  I am not a mom.  I don't know that I ever want to be a mom.  But I cherish the children in my life who I am blessed to be close to.  And I serve as a mother / big sister / crazy aunt / mentor to dozens of students at the many colleges where I've worked.  I had multiple "Happy Pseudo-Mothers Day" messages.

That in no way diminishes true moms out there.  I made a point to reach out to all the mommies in my life - my friends who have small children or are expecting - and was so grateful to spend Mothers Day with my own mom and sister - something we haven't always had the luxury to do since we're all spread out.

But Mothers Day was created to be bigger than that.

It was created to to celebrate the power of positive female interaction.  And again, that's just awesome.

Too often, women are tough on one another.  We get down on each out about how we look and what we wear, what we say and what we don't say, how we parent or don't parent (more on that in a later post)... really, we get down on each other for just about everything.  And in turn we get down on ourselves and it's a ridiculous vicious cycle.

Basically this long "Mothers Day" rant is a reminder to be nice to one another.  To remember the origin of Mothers Day every single day.  To remember to celebrate the power we all have when we work together instead of working against.

It's worth reading the entire article I linked above, by the way.  All of those women mentioned are worth celebrating.  All of them.  As are all of us out there not mothering but who are trying our damnedest to make a difference in this world.

It's not that men can't do it.  It's that we shouldn't let them do everything when we could be so powerful on our own.

Something to Celebrate (and a Special Challenge for You!)

This past weekend was arguably one of the best weekends I've ever had in Lexington.  None of the people that I have been spending a lot of time with were in town so I wasn't expecting it to be quite so much fun.  But it was.  And I have to thank all of the people who went out of their way to make it awesome.

Going into this week on a happy note was a wonderful change compared to most Monday mornings.  I think it's because, even in spite of my meltdown last week about missing my friends and family, my work has been incredibly rewarding lately.  The awesome thing about working at a college is the fact that I feel like I make a difference in someone's life every day - whether that's true or not doesn't really matter because I feel that way and that's half the battle.  And honestly, without sounding conceited, I know it's true.

It's the end of the school year so I get to hear good great news every... single... day.  The students who I have come to know so well are all getting interviews for big-kid jobs, being offered said jobs, or getting accepted to grad school.  Students who graduated in the last couple of years are off doing awesome things* and I get to sit back and watch them enjoy the ride.  I get text messages, emails, phone calls, or visits constantly from students and alumni telling me about the fantastic things they are doing and I couldn't be more proud.  Even though I don't technically work directly with the students any more, I still know that the work that I do is making an impact in their current lives and will continue to make an impact long into the future.  I truly believe in the work that I do.  These students would not be given these awesome opportunities if this university did not have such amazing donors and I am blessed to work with both of those constituent groups.

Many of the people I have worked with, worried about, supported, nurtured, encouraged... on and on... in the last 10 years have overcome so much and are out there changing the world.  Getting married, having babies, making a huge impact on improving the world we live in.  All of that is cause for celebration.

Last week I spent an entire post complaining about missing my family and this week I'm going on and on about how much of a difference I make.  I do know that it's not just me of course.  But it's an awesome feeling to know that I might have had even a teeny tiny part of that success.

As someone who has overcome some pretty big things in my life, I understand the power of a seemingly simple moment brought on by a completely ordinary person.

The boss that singled you out to tell you what great work you did when you were just doing your job

or 

the teacher who took a minute to congratulate you on great work 

or

the mentor who said "you know you really could do that when you grow up, right?"

or

the friend who gave five minutes to ask the right question and listen to the answer

...on and on...

I have been blessed to have all of those people in my life and all of those moments have literally been life changing for me.  I'd like to think that I've helped pay that back into the world, even just a little.

As I launch into this week of celebrating - a friend's birthday, an end-of-college gathering with some of the students who I have gotten to know so very well, my birthday, and then reunions at the school where I work - I have a challenge for you.

Take one minute to celebrate with someone who has accomplished something they may not even know is a big deal and be that small, seemingly ordinary moment that may or may not go on to make a huge difference in their life.

You never know how that moment might change someone's life.

And a HUGE congrats to all of those people out there, especially to my current and former students from one of the many institutions I have been blessed to be a part of, who have done something so great in the past couple of weeks.  It's worth saying again.  You all make me so proud.

*If you're into hiking, check out this blog chronicling a former student's adventures on the Appalachian Trail.  I'm hooked... I wish I had half the courage she does!

Don't Forget How Lucky You Are

I started writing some stupid post about how fast this year is moving and how I'm a terrible blogger and all of that.  And then I realized that it was just about the worst post ever and I have better things to say.  Sappy things, but better things.  Hang in there, friends.  This is going to be a bit of a rant and I'm going to sound "emotional."

It has been a very long couple of weeks.  I absolutely love my job and have made some wonderful friends here so I don't want people to think I'm just being ungrateful for what I do have.  But let's be real, I have really been missing my close friends and family.  People who can see their best friends and family anytime just do not understand. 

Note to my Kentucky friends before I proceed:
Please know that I am in no way saying in the rant that will follow that you all are not important to me!  Just been a rough couple of weeks to be so far away from the people who have known me for so long and I suppose I needed to take a moment to tell those people that I am missing them.


I go months without talking to my friends from college because we all live in different time zones (and on different continents for that matter).  I hear about big life news third hand or through Facebook or never hear it at all until it's brought up months later.

I wasn't there to celebrate when my best friend's son turns four last week and I already know that I will miss her older son's eighth birthday.  It took me months to see her daughter after she was born.

I can't be there to meet my other best friend for happy hour on a day when we both just really need it.  She isn't going to be here to celebrate my birthday this weekend and I can't tell you when I will see her next.

To add to the stress and homesickness, in the last few weeks I've had multiple friends lose their parents.  We aren't even 30 yet.  We should not be thinking about these things.  It is so incredibly hard to know that I can't just jump in the car, drive over, and hug them.  I know that being there would not fix the fact that their mom or dad just died.  But this has happened to some of the people who I hold most dear - people that I know would do just about anything for me if I asked.  And I cannot even hug them, tell them that I love them and that I'm thinking about them, hold their hand while they cry.

All of the things with my friends' parents make me miss my mom and dad.  I don't think you ever get so old that you stop needing your parents.  At least, I hope I never get too old to want to be with them.  A friend of mine posted this blog post on her Facebook page and it made me cry.  I had some of the best parents anyone could ever ask for.  Our house wasn't always spotless.  We ate a lot of macaroni and cheese because it was quick and easy and they both worked a lot in order to give my siblings and me everything we could ever need.  We didn't have the fanciest clothes, we don't have the biggest house, and we sure as hell did not have "magnetic, alphabetized spice containers" but we did have a lot of love, a lot of laughter, and hours upon hours of great memories - going camping in the summer, splashing in the pool, softball practice, reading books out loud, Sunday afternoon movies at the West Picture Show....... I could go on and on about things that mean so much to me.

I am so incredibly blessed to have such a wonderful family and to have found friends who are as important to me as most people's families are to them.  I am proud of all of them every single day.  The thought that they may not always be there crushes me.  No, they aren't going anywhere tomorrow, god willing, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't cherish every single day we have with them.

Technology is great in that I never truly feel disconnected from any of these people who I feel so close to.  I talk to my best friends almost every day, my sister almost every night, my brother at least once a week, and my mom and dad multiple times every day (even if my dad does think I only call to talk to Mom...).  But g-chatting with your best friend isn't the same as being able to call them up and drag them shopping with you while you look for the perfect outfit for a big night out.  Talking to your mom on the phone is not the same as cooking her dinner and enjoying a beer while planting your garden.  Texting your sister to give her insight into wedding planning is not the same as sitting on the floor with wedding magazines spread everywhere, planning a magical day that we have been dreaming about since we were children.

The next couple of months are full of celebrations, so I will be seeing my family a ton - a friend's wedding in a few weeks back in Wisconsin, my future brother-in-law's graduation the next week in North Carolina, then more weddings and events, until the biggest moment of the summer - my sister's wedding.  Unfortunately, all of those weddings mean that I won't have time this summer to see my best friends.



I know that I am sounding like I'm whining here.  There are people who live halfway around the world from their families so at least I get to see them every few months.  I'm not trying to whine.  I'm just trying to get an important point across.

Don't take your family and friends for granted.
Cherish every memory with them and tell them that you care.
The world we live in ensures that they won't always be there, whether we like that or not. 

For those of you who can see your family anytime you want, DO IT.  Tonight, I would trade places with you in a heartbeat.

Another Gem from the Magazine Purge

An article called "Girls of Wisdom" in the January 2011 issue of Better Homes and Garden got me thinking.  How would I answer their (random) questions.  For that matter, how would me many girls of wisdom who are out there answer?

If I were stuck on a desert island, I'd need:
A rubber band & handful of bobby pins, and my Kindle (the desert island magically has internet access right?) 

How to save a bad hair day
Aforementioned rubber band and bobby pins 

Worth the Splurge
I don't really splurge on beauty products because I've never had to.  I swear by my Aveda shampoo, mostly because I only have to shampoo every couple of days and it only costs me $20ish every 6 months.  I don't really splurge on clothing either - unless buying everything on sale so I can buy it all counts!

Cheap, but worth a million
Chapstick in every location I could possibly use it - next to my bed, in the bathroom, a couple in my purse, one in my desk, in the car...

I wish someone had told me
Even though I had perfect skin through college and high school, it isn't always going to be perfect.  Now that I'm stressed out as an adult, I break out when someone looks at my crooked.

I'm so glad someone told me
My mom was a big proponent of the "God made your body the way it's supposed to be" talk when we were kids.  I'm thankful for that every day because it takes the pressure off of looking "perfect."  I'm never going to be a 5'7", size 2.

Beauty pet peeve
Women who get gussied up to go to the gym, grocery store, etc.  It's really ok to go out of the house without making an effort to get ready.

Best bygone beauty
There is nothing better than old-fashioned cold cream to soften your feet over night.  I'm sure it's out there still, it's just harder to find in the generic brands!

I don't leave the house without
(First of all, I hate the answers these women gave.  You really don't leave the house without lipstick and t-zone powder?!  I don't think I actually own t-zone powder.)  My answer is so very simple.  I never leave without my wallet, my keys, and my phone.  That's it.

I wish someone would invent
An instant cat hair remover

Aging is
not scary to me because all of the women who have gone before me - mom, grandmas, great-grandmas - have all aged remarkably gracefully even when they haven't lived easy lives.

Lipstick or gloss
I have never liked lipstick.  Gloss all the way.

I feel confident
Almost all the time.  Whether that's a good thing or bad thing, it's the truth.



Any of my ladies have anything to add?

Where to Lend my Voice

Nothing like a reality tv show to make you feel like you are a complete failure...

I discovered the show The Voice today and I am completely hooked.  The people featured on this show have some much talent.  Every minute that I have watched has made me miss my years singing.  While I'm still known to attend a karaoke event here or there and have sang for special occasions in recent years, I pretty much gave up singing 8 years ago.  While I was still in high school, I gave up both music and theatre because I realized I didn't love them enough to continue devoting the energy.  I still sit down at my keyboard once a week and plunk out a tune here or there and I still sing my heart out in the car but I know, no matter how talented my family says I might be, music isn't wasn't something at which I am good enough to make a difference.

Honestly, it's the same thing with writing.  I used to love it.  I liked putting my words on the page and making others feel something.  But I have come to realize that while I might wish that I had something to say that was worth listening to, really it doesn't matter unless someone wants to read it.  I don't write fiction anymore because my characters fall flat and I wouldn't read flat characters so why would anyone else.  I stopped writing in this blog because no one was reading it anyway.  But I'm going to start up again. Because what I failed to remember was that I wasn't writing in my blog for anyone else to read anyway.  I was writing because I need to write.  Just like, even though I've "given up" my music, I need to play the keyboard on a regular basis.  So we're giving this a go again.  I have things to say.

Back to the reality tv show.  The thing about The Voice that made me think was that I suddenly was afraid that I'm not making an impact in any area.  I'm not performing, I'm not publishing... where am I lending my talents?

And then I realized what a ridiculous thought that was.

Monday-Friday, I go to work and do a job that (I like to think) I'm rather good at.  I make a difference in students' lives every day by helping enhance their education and raising money to maintain the college's excellence while also improving areas of need.

When I come home in the evening, I come to an apartment that, while old and unkempt on the exterior, is cozy and welcoming inside.  I have created my own little haven, my cozy little home, out of virtually nothing.  I live in a city where I knew no one 2 years ago, and where I have no built a little family, furry that they may be, which make this place my home.

Tonight I made a delicious dinner for myself, complete with crusty bread and dipping oil, a salad course, and a glass of red wine.

I browsed through little shops today with a new friend and designed outfits in my head and built complete homes around single pieces of furniture.

All of those are talents that are overlooked as we rush about living our lives.  No - nothing about my career, my cats, my cooking skills, and my ability to dream will get me on television.  But I don't need to be on television to contribute.  To make an impact.

Tomorrow morning, I will get up, bake muffins, brew coffee, and read a book over breakfast.  And it will be a good day because I will remind myself that I make a difference in my own life.



All of this musing because of a silly reality tv show.......