Nothing like a reality tv show to make you feel like you are a complete failure...
I discovered the show The Voice today and I am completely hooked. The people featured on this show have some much talent. Every minute that I have watched has made me miss my years singing. While I'm still known to attend a karaoke event here or there and have sang for special occasions in recent years, I pretty much gave up singing 8 years ago. While I was still in high school, I gave up both music and theatre because I realized I didn't love them enough to continue devoting the energy. I still sit down at my keyboard once a week and plunk out a tune here or there and I still sing my heart out in the car but I know, no matter how talented my family says I might be, music isn't wasn't something at which I am good enough to make a difference.
Honestly, it's the same thing with writing. I used to love it. I liked putting my words on the page and making others feel something. But I have come to realize that while I might wish that I had something to say that was worth listening to, really it doesn't matter unless someone wants to read it. I don't write fiction anymore because my characters fall flat and I wouldn't read flat characters so why would anyone else. I stopped writing in this blog because no one was reading it anyway. But I'm going to start up again. Because what I failed to remember was that I wasn't writing in my blog for anyone else to read anyway. I was writing because I need to write. Just like, even though I've "given up" my music, I need to play the keyboard on a regular basis. So we're giving this a go again. I have things to say.
Back to the reality tv show. The thing about The Voice that made me think was that I suddenly was afraid that I'm not making an impact in any area. I'm not performing, I'm not publishing... where am I lending my talents?
And then I realized what a ridiculous thought that was.
Monday-Friday, I go to work and do a job that (I like to think) I'm rather good at. I make a difference in students' lives every day by helping enhance their education and raising money to maintain the college's excellence while also improving areas of need.
When I come home in the evening, I come to an apartment that, while old and unkempt on the exterior, is cozy and welcoming inside. I have created my own little haven, my cozy little home, out of virtually nothing. I live in a city where I knew no one 2 years ago, and where I have no built a little family, furry that they may be, which make this place my home.
Tonight I made a delicious dinner for myself, complete with crusty bread and dipping oil, a salad course, and a glass of red wine.
I browsed through little shops today with a new friend and designed outfits in my head and built complete homes around single pieces of furniture.
All of those are talents that are overlooked as we rush about living our lives. No - nothing about my career, my cats, my cooking skills, and my ability to dream will get me on television. But I don't need to be on television to contribute. To make an impact.
Tomorrow morning, I will get up, bake muffins, brew coffee, and read a book over breakfast. And it will be a good day because I will remind myself that I make a difference in my own life.
All of this musing because of a silly reality tv show.......