Reflections on Being a Quintessential Twenty-Something

I stumbled across an article a few weeks ago that I knew I must read – and comment on – but until now hadn't found the time to do so.

The article, entitled Semi-Charmed Life, was published in the New Yorker by Nathan Heller.  Take the time to read it if you have a chance.*  It's amazing.

Ok, you back (or still here)?  Good.

The article looks at twenty-something-ness as a unique phase in everyone’s lives.  It talks about how this phase in our life is special because it is so varied – all of us are doing so many different things, someone of us are doing it all at once, and somehow that draws us together.  Parts of the article stuck out to me as hitting a proverbial nail on the head.

As I draw much closer to the end of my 20s than the beginning, I've spent a lot of time thinking about where I’ve come from and where I’ll be in a few years. 

• I entered my 20s a college student – over worked, over tired, over partied, over committed, overly single, and probably with a checking account nearly over drawn. 
• My early-mid 20s were spent slaving away at a job I hated in order to pay the bills. 
• I quit said job in my still early-mid-20s to go back to being overly broke and started grad school – I was again a full time student, working two full time jobs, and in a truly terrible relationship.
• I spent most of my mid-20s focusing on my career.  My checking account was still over drawn half the time but I was working my ass off at something I loved and - too be honest - having way to good of a time.
• With the recent move (and the entry into the definite late-20s of my life), I’ve refocused a little.  I’m still working hard, doing something I love, but I’m also focusing on my relationships more, building up that bank account, and losing the weight that comes along with having a good time.

It’s hard to think that all of that can happen in less than 7 years.  Harder yet to believe that all of my best friends could describe very different paths in their 20s and yet all of our experiences resonate with one another – we are all drawn together even if nothing about our lives appears to meld well.

At one point, Heller says that one of the most interesting part of everyone’s 20s is that “Where you start out—rich or poor, rustic or urbane—won’t determine where you end up, perhaps, but it will determine how you get there.”  This could not be more true. 

The article also mentions a clinical psychologist who observes that – contrary to the carefree attitude that people see in 20-somethings – as a whole we are horribly unsatisfied.  We feel that our lives are not what we hoped for.  I think my meandering path above demonstrates that I have felt the same way.  There are defining moments in that story – literal “wake up in the morning and realize something has to change” moments – where I was so unsatisfied that I was willing to give everything up to make a change.  And I did.  Multiple times.

So where am I going with all of this?  That is the ultimate question, isn’t it?  I may have almost 2 years left to my 20s but I’m already feeling the pressure to figure it out.  Thankfully, these days, the 30s are the new 20s so I have a few years to get there.  The article even addresses that fact.  In the 90s, the "it-girls" on TV were like Ally McBeal - late 20-something, desperate, single women.  Today, the "freak out timeline" focuses more on the Liz Lemon's of the world - late 30s.  As the article states: "There’s no shame now in being a twentysomething without imminent family plans, and there may even be extra power."

Near the end of the article, Heller makes this observation.

Twentysomething culture is intimate and exclusive on the one hand, and eternal on the other. We tout this stage of life, in retrospect, as free, although we ogle the far shores of adulthood while we’re there.

When I read those sentences, it suddenly all made sense to me.  Why this stage in my life is so special.  Why I feel the need to write about it on the blog that so few people read.  Why I strive to improve with each new step I take.

We live in a world where almost everything about it is readily available to virtual strangers.  At the same time,  we know more than ever about how to shape that intimacy.  That's what this blog is all about, isn't it?  Putting my thoughts out into the world in a way that truly expresses what is on my heart.  I am able to express myself - no one can take that away.  

I have the freedom every day to do what I want still.  I have no husband, no children, at home to answer to.  And yet, as I near the end of the 20s, I've come to realize that that "far shore of adulthood" isn't so far away afterall.  That maybe it's ok to be anchored down a little.

*Did you miss the post on my Facebook page with the link last week?  Make sure you like the page so you don't miss anything in the future!

The Procedure: Margaret Belle

I've shared before that I tend to download a lot of free Kindle books and that a lot of them are pretty terrible or trashy.  Recently, however, I discovered an awesome website called Book Bub which sends a daily email - customized based on your stated interests - sharing a few free or "on sale" e-book recommendations.  I get 4-5 books every day that I might like to download to my Kindle.  Let's just say I've been adding a lot of books to the queue that I haven't had time to read yet!  Best part?  I'm not spending a dime to do so.  I highly recommend you check it out.
No disclaimer needed - Book Bub has no flipping idea who I am so I can guarantee I won't get any special perks by recommending them.

One of the first books I downloaded based on a Book Bub recommendation was The Procedure by Margaret Belle.  The story focuses on a woman named Melanie who is volunteering some time working at a fertility clinic.  She has a long-standing relationship with the clinic - she and her sister were "products" of the doctor's fertility treatments and she is a single mom raising a son who was also born due to the work of the clinic.

The story quickly takes a weird turn.  In some ways, I believed it was a little too quick - there are definitely parts of this book that need to be better developed and plot lines that need more explanation.  That being said, it is rare that I read a medical suspense story that I don't get completely confused by.  This was an exception.

Like many of the other books I've read in recent years, The Procedure made me question the world we live in.  Have we taken such a moral downturn that it is just accepted that our bodies do not truly belong to us?  Are these medical advances really making the world a better place?  Is this a problem with specific individuals or is it more a commentary on our society as a whole?

If you're at all into medical mysteries, I suggest you check this one out.

Lovers of Words

One of the things I have loved about working at a university - and one of the things I will miss the most - is the opportunity to participate in a community of scholars, even though I am (not yet) a professor.  

I've shared reviews of books that I read in conjunction with a university project a few times in the past and I want to share one more before I leave here.

The incoming class at this university was required to read a few common texts.  Being a book / language nerd and a lover of fictionalized history (note: that, in my mind, is very different than historical fiction), I was very excited to get my hands on one of the texts for the year, The Professor and the Madman, a book discussing the creation of the Oxford English Dictionary.  I mean really, is there a more perfect book out there for someone like me to read?!

I read this book in a matter of hours.  I found it full of interesting historical anecdotes, rich in the history of language, and - simply put - a really good story.  The book focuses on two men who are unparalleled in their contribution to the English language: Professor James Murray, who oversaw the committee collecting entries for the OED, and Dr. W. C. Minor, a previously unknown man who contributed tens of thousands of entries in the collection process.  This remarkable tale focuses on the relationship between the two men, as well as their lives aside from the OED, especially after it comes to light that Dr. Minor is serving time in an asylum for  the criminally insane after murdering a man due to his constant paranoia. 

This book is one of those stories that is so outlandish that it's must be true.  The history surrounding the most ambitious language project our world has ever seen is sensational enough and the task was nearly impossible.  But the lives of those who contributed to the process are even more amazing.  Simon Winchester did a wonderful job of sharing their stories and drawing the reader into their task.  For anyone who is a lover of words the way I am, The Professor and the Madman is a must read.

Unknown Yet Immortal

Anyone who has taken a science course that talked about cell research has probably heard of HeLa.

Most of those people have never heard of Henrietta Lacks.

I read The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks as part of a commitment for work over a year ago and I have not stopped thinking of it since.  This book is mind-boggling to me.

It's the story of a woman who changed modern-day science in immeasurable ways, yet who is virtually unknown....  The story of people who weren't given all of the information... The story of multiple generations of a family who cannot afford healthcare - yet whose ancestor was the root of many of today's medical treatments.

Henrietta could not possibly have known that pieces of a cervical tumor - a tumor that ultimately killed her - were removed from her body in 1951 and would be used for groundbreaking medical research.  She could not have known that because of this caner, her cells would be the first to become immortal - that even though she would die young and poor, her cells would prove to be remarkably resilient and would populate a multi-billion dollar industry.

More amazing is that her family wouldn't know any of this for more than 20 years after her death.  They didn't find out until after scientists continued researching HeLa by doing procedures on her husband and children without their knowledge. 

Rebecca Sloot took the time to sort through the story, follow the clues and cluttered paper trail, and piece together a book that reads like a good mystery novel.  She manages to throw in enough science terminology and medical history to make even an educated person feel a little lost.  And yet, Sloot's book still dwells in sentimentality.  It brings up questions of race relations, healthcare costs, medical consent, personal ownership of your own body, and ethical treatment of research subjects.  It makes us question how much control we have over our body still today and wonder if this could still happen.

I said, I read this book over a year ago and I feel like it was just yesterday.  HeLa is no longer the only thing that is immortal.  Henrietta - as a woman, as a lesson, and as a story - will also go on forever for anyone who has read this book.

If It Isn't Broken, Don't Fix It

Remember back in July (was it really that long ago?!) when I won a complete set of Tana French's books and I said I would write my review of the new one ASAP?

Apparently "ASAP" is actually an abbreviation for 2.5 months later.  Sheesh.

I decided to re-read her first three books (reviews here and here) which is part of what took me so long.  That and the whole "taking a break from blogging" thing, and the fact that I'm traveling a lot, and am in the midst of some pretty big life things.  It's not even like I read it a long time ago and haven't written about it yet.  I just finished it last weekend.  Finally.  But let me tell you, the first three were just as good the second (third or fourth) time around.

Just like her other books, she follows the familiar formula of focusing on a character that was first introduced in the book before.  In this case, the detective solving the murder in Faithful Place is the lead in Broken Harbor.  I've noticed a trend after reading all four back-to-back that she has been tying the books back into the previous stories less and less, which I miss.  Nonetheless, this novel does not disappoint.

"Scorcher" - the aforementioned detective - stumbles upon a case that at first glance is open-and-shut.  An entire family is murdered, the mother barely hanging on, and a suspect is in custody (well not at first, but whatever... not really a spoiler in a detective novel that there is a suspect in custody at some point.)  But everything about this case is not what it seems.

I can honestly say that I had no freaking clue what had actually happened until just as the catharsis was unfolding.

A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with a friend who had also read In the Woods who was really upset with the ending because we were never really given all the answers.  But I will say that (again, after reading the books back-to-back) I have to disagree with my friend.  I think the beauty of French's books is that she doesn't give it all away.  You're still left with questions.  It's what makes these mysteries so haunting.  Can anyone disagree that the creepiest horror movies are those where the creature / spirit / evil being aren't actually shown clearly?!  Has anyone seen Signs?!  That movie is ruined when the creature is shown.  These books wouldn't give me chills if French revealed exactly what happened.

In the case of Broken Harbor, I'm left with a few very important questions that will eventually be answered...

1 - When is her next book coming out?

2 - Who will she feature as her next lead character?

3 - Will she begin tying the characters back together?  Because that would make me very happy.

...and a few that probably won't ever be answered...

1 - How much of a psychological mess is Scorcher really?

2 - Should he really have seen was was going on?

3 - (Ok, I can't reveal number three because it would give away the ending)

There you have it.  Another excellent read by Tana French.  Like I said in my post heading - if it isn't broken, don't fix it.  Keep bringing up these mysteries full of intrigue but lacking answers and I can guarantee I'll keep reading.

Total Trash

I know that I've shared before that I'll read almost anything once, especially anything that's available free for my Kindle. And by anything, I mean it.

That means I spend a lot of time reading things that I would be embarrassed to tell my mom about. Unfortunately for her (and possibly for you if you blush easily), the ridiculous success of Fifty Shades of Grey  changed what can and cannot be talking about in literature for most women. Not that I've read any of the Fifty Shades books. If they've hit the mainstream, I can guarantee they aren't going to get my blood boiling. Just sayin'.

Usually I don't share the total trash that I read but Sexy in Stilettos by Nana Malone is worth sharing. Is there plenty of sex to get your heart pumping? Sure is - some of which is pretty graphic, public, or otherwise taboo. But nothing that would be more inappropriate than the aforementioned summer book blockbuster.

The difference between this book and so many of the others I've read that are blush-inducing is that these characters are more real. They aren't just a piece of meat, a sexy body, or a brain dead idiot. Not in the least. 

The female lead, Jaya, is a woman who is going through the process of finding herself - after finding her then-boyfriend in bed with her sister, she gets fired from the family business due to the influence of said ex-boyfriend. She's a classic example of a woman who thinks she knows herself but is still "willing" (because we all know she'll fight it) to be vulnerable and learn more. And as so many of us know, no matter how well you think you know yourself, how confident you are on your own, letting someone else take control once in a while is a lesson that isn't easy to learn. In this case, Jaya allows herself to learn those lessons through a relationship with a man.

And the man. Whoo. Sensitive, kind, and charming with a hint of mystery. In short, unrealistically perfect. But still realistic enough to keep you interested. And not totally f-ed up. I get sick of those stories where the men have so much baggage. I've been in that relationship before and there is nothing sexy about getting your heart stomped on time and time again and hearing the "I can't help it because _________" excuse.

But I digress.

So ladies... If you can't sleep, need a diversion on the weekend, or your hubby is out of town, I highly recommend Sexy in Stilettos. I warned you about the sex so don't get your panties in a bunch when you get to it. Unfortunately, it's no longer free on Amazon but I think it's well worth the $3.99 price tag. Pour yourself a glass of wine, run a bubble bath (be careful - my Kindle will never work properly again after landing in the bath once or twice), lock the kids and cats out, and enjoy.

(And Dad, if you're reading this, I don't recommend adding it to the to-read list.)

Nostalgic Storytelling

I just realized that I'm still sitting at work. I've been here alone for almost an hour. I very rarely work late. Yes, I'm being productive but I could be productive at home.  

I'm sitting here to avoid going home to an empty apartment, so that I don't have to sit there and listen to my cat cry constantly like she's lost something (I know exactly what you're feeling, baby), and because the thought of going home and eating "our" leftovers is enough to make me want to cry into my microwaved steak.

Just call me that girl.

Instead of working some more, I thought I'd put off the inevitable by writing for a bit.

Even before this (incredible, awesome, and amazing) weekend, I've been feeling homesick. I was getting used to going home every few weeks this summer. Yes, it was exhausting and expensive, but it was so wonderful to see my family and friends on a regular basis. Things are so incredibly good here in Kentucky right now but I, of course (and not unexpectedly), miss home.

Whenever I get nostalgic, I reach for old favorites from the bookshelf. It hit my exceptionally hard while traveling a few weeks ago, however, and I didn't have my trusty books to turn to. Thankfully, a few months ago while organizing the ridiculous backlog of Kindle stories I had downloaded to read, I added in a few classics - it started with a few of the Anne of Green Gables books. I then downloaded a few shorter books by L.M. Montgomery that I had yet to get to in all my years of reading. I am so glad that I did. 

I know fall is coming when I'm feeling down, lonely for home, and just want to curl up with something enchanting. My old friend Lucy Maud did not disappoint.

I started with The Story Girl, the story of a young girl who takes everyone to another world with her story-telling ability. I've marked it as a new favorite. If I had children, I would want to read it out loud to them, one chapter at a time, like my mom and dad did for us with so many of the classics. The children in the story get into the most delightful antics and scrapes and this book is meant to be read to others, with a piece of pie balanced on one knee and a childish giggle just waiting to be  let loose on the other. (I tried reading it to the cats - you wish I were kidding - and it just didn't do the trick.)

After finishing The Story Girl, I moved on to Kilmeny of the Orchard. Like so many of Montgomery's books, it dwells in a simple time where an innocent, albeit admiring, friendship blossoms into love - love that is without caring about the challenges that stand in their way. Can anyone say "bawl like a baby when the plot finally comes together?" Because I did that. Not ashamed to admit it.

If you haven't read these two stories by a classic favorite, go out and do so immediately. Did I mention they're both free for Kindle? Perhaps the best thing about classics. Pour yourself a glass of wine or make some cocoa on the stove (or both), put on your sweatpants, pop some popcorn and settle in for a night. Just ignore the fact that it may still be 90 degrees where you are (like it is here) and pretend that it's actually fall. 

While reading these new favorites, your mind slows down and you're able to just breathe for a while. A refreshing change for someone whose brain always moves to fast, who has too much on their plate, and who wants to be transported.

Women from a Man's Perspective

I feel like I haven't given my love of historical fiction novels enough time and energy on my blog. I've been a bit of a history nut for as long as I can remember. In addition to historical fiction, I am a sucker for a good biography - no matter if the person in question is really someone that matters in the grand scheme of history or not.

When we received an "advanced" copy of City of Women in my office (I say "advanced" because I didn't get around to reading it until the actual copy was released), I knew I had to read it. The book centers on a character named Sigrid, a woman living in Berlin during the height of the Second World War. While her husband fights on the Eastern Front, she embarks on a personal journey that forces her to think about what is right and what is wrong. While that's a difficult task any time, trying to find your moral compass when your entire world is being turned upside-down is even harder.

As a whole, this book delivers on excitement, historical value, and all around great character development. It offers a pretty good glimpse into Nazi Germany (not that I lived there - obviously - but I've done enough studying of that time period to know it isn't terribly inaccurate), although I would think making love to a man who was not your husband, hiding Jewish families from the SS, and befriending both a resistance worker and a lesbian were probably even more dangerous during that time period than the book implies. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop throughout the whole book. I don't really believe that the Gestapo visited suspected resistance workers multiple times without actually bringing them in for questioning, especially after their close friends had already been arrested. Maybe I'm wrong...

While the story was engaging, it was obviously not without flaws. The biggest difficulty I had was that the book was written by a man but was supposed to be from the point of view of the woman leftover in a mostly-deserted, war-torn city. While the emotional development was for the most part very real, very convincing, for all of the characters - especially the lead - I thought the sexual developments were lacking. The conflict in the book starts because Sigrid meets a man - a Jewish man - and begins an affair. The description of their love-making, her memories of him, and her thoughts about other men don't read as believable. While this may have nothing to do with a man trying to write from a woman's perspective, I do see that is a limitation. Within the last ten years, there have been many books, movies, and tv shows which accurately described the female psyche related to sex. This book misses that mark, in my opinion.

All in all, I think City of Women was worth the read. Like so many books I've read lately, the ending wrapped up a bit faster than I would have liked. Before I judge that fact too harshly, however, I'd be interested in reading the final copy, as some finished versions have remarkable differences from the advanced copy.

For those of you who haven't read a book review of mine in the past, you'll get used to the fact that I don't provide much of a plot description.  They aren't those kind of reviews.  If you want to know what the book is about, this article describes it pretty accurately.

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

I won something! I actually won something!

I just did a happy dance in my living room (well, the happy dance started in the lobby of my apartment building, continued up the elevator, and culminated in my apartment but that's besides the point.)... I just got the most amazing package in the mail.

Backing up.

Have you ever entered one of those "I'll never win it but I should try anyway" Facebook contests? I rarely enter them but am so glad I did for once.

I was super excited to see that one of my favorite authors, Tana French, had a new book coming out. (You can read my review of her first two books here and her third book here...)

And then I was not-as-super-excited to see this on her Facebook page:

because I never win anything ever but I entered anyway because I figured, what the heck?

Last week when I got this email:

I honestly thought it was fake but replied anyway and just hoped that it wouldn't actually be an ax murderer coming to get me.  I received another email saying my books had been shipped and I waited not so patiently to see if it was all a scam.

Considering that I just received this in the mail:

I'm glad that I said, what the heck back when I saw the Facebook posting!

Squee!  So excited to read the new one and have copies of all the others!  She's amazing - without even reading the fourth book, I highly recommend you run out and grab a copy RIGHT NOW.

10 Essentials

Inspired by a blog series by one of my favorite stores CB2.  
Side Note: Their blog is pretty cool even if you don't like the store.

1. My (feline) girls.  They provide me with a constant source of laughter and love and make my apartment feel like home after even the longest days.


2.  Real Girl Friends.  Growing up, I didn't have a lot of female friends.  Since then, I have been blessed to live in a number of different cities and have had the pleasure of making honest-to-god, can't-live-without-them, do-anything-for-one-another girl friends.  I never knew the power of positive female friendship until college because so many female relationships are built on backstabbing and power struggles and even since then I've been burned more than once.  But I literally could not make it without my ladies.  There is something to be said for friends who will fly across the country at a moments notice to cheer you up after a bad breakup, who know the exact moment when you really need to hear a 3-year-old's voice, who will drive across town to provide soup when you're sick... 


3.  A stack of to-be-read books.  (Or these days, 90+ books to-be-read on my Kindle).  You never know where you'll find the next great adventure.


4.  Some sort of outdoor space.  I need fresh air almost every day.  I wrote many a paper on my porch in the winter in Nashville and slept with the windows open in November in Minnesota.


5.  My family.  Needs no explanation.  We're all a little quirky, but it works for us.


6.  Chapstick.  

Note: I am obviously not putting these in numerical order because let's be real, my family ranks way above books and chapstick ranks way below my family.

Ok... Again.

6.  Chapstick.  There is nothing worse than knowing your lips need hydration.  Like last week while attending a meeting and not being able to find my chapstick in the bottomless-pit-that-is-my-purse no matter how hard I tried to look quietly.  It was awful.


7.  Caffeine.  This one should really be up at the top.  I have a caffeine problem.  I have been known to consume 3 Cokes and 2 cups of coffee from 7:00am-2:00pm.  Sheesh.  It's the only way I get anything done.


8.  A project to be working on.  I'm always in the middle of something.  Right now, I'm purging years worth of magazines by creating my own person, hard-copy version on Pinterist (which I don't use... so no comment there).  When I moved in here, I spent a month picking out the perfect paint color for my living room and I'm still not sure I found it.  When I'm not redecorating, I'm crafting.  When not crafting, I'm writing.  When not writing, I'm rearranging... You get the picture.


9.  My cell phone.  I once left it at a then-boyfriend's house and had to go without for an entire day.  It was awful.  Honestly, I am obsessive about checking that I have it on me after that day.  Even if my current phone is a piece of crap.  It's my own personal nightmare to go without my phone for an entire weekend.


10.  My own bathroom.  I grew up in a house with 3 (sometimes 4) women and one bathroom.  I then went to college and used communal bathrooms and had roommates.  I never had a problem with modesty or personal space.  Until I lived alone.  I would rather share my bedroom than my bathroom.  In fact, if I ever get married I plan to custom build my house just so there are two master baths.  Get your hands off my toothpaste and your dirty feet out of my bathtub...


If I got 11 essentials, I'd add pizza.  But I don't.  So I won't.

Book Review: The Witch Who Made Adjustments

As I (sorta) mentioned last month, I am a sucker for free Kindle books.  I'll read almost anything and on a limited budget, the last couple of months I've been stuck with trashy romance, Christian romance which are in no way trashy (Surprise!  You never see those coming!), and pretty bad suspense stories.  But considering I have over 100 books saved to my Kindle, and I'm back to reading about a book a day, I'm clearly surviving.

Before I get to the book review, I often get questions about how I find said free books.  Honestly, once a week or so I go through the "Best Sellers" and download anything free that sounds remotely interesting.  Anything not-free I save to a wish list until I'm ready to read it.  That's my secret to keeping the Kindle costs down.  I never pay for anything until I'm ready to read it, that way I'm not wasting money.

I digress...

I had a pretty rotten afternoon so I came home and picked up my Kindle and a glass of the aforementioned Trader Joe's red wine and sat on my porch until my toes got too cold.  The first "new item" at the top of my Mystery Suspense Horror collection* was a novella called The Witch Who Made Adjustments which sounded interesting.  I think it's technically a long children's story and honestly, it would be excellent to read with older children so that wouldn't be wrong.

The story is about a woman who enters a town and makes "adjustments" - basically switching products between the town's stores - and then seats herself in the middle of the town until Halloween.  The story follows a (presumably) young boy who works at one of the town's stores.  It's a simple enough story loaded with meaning.  I knew I was hooked from the first paragraph.

The witch came into town in the early days of autumn, when the first curling leaves fell from the maple boughs and the breath of the world cooled along the cobblestones.  She was exactly what a witch might look like, except she wasn't.  She was neither old, nor ugly or wart-nosed, or stooped over.  Neither did she wear grimy black clothing or a pointed hat.  But somehow everyone knew what she was, with her large, dark, bruised valise, and a sizeable aspen-wood walking stick. 

After a grouchy day, that paragraph was exactly what I needed.

The story continues in such a manner.  It really is simplistic.  Nothing about it is difficult but it still manages to explore some pretty incredible themes (friendship, longing, losing and finding, first impressions) and allows you to grow as a reader (perhaps as a person?) while enjoying the story.  The story is technically a "Halloween" story but since the weather has dropped sharply here from the early start of spring, that didn't bother me in the least.  I can't wait to read it out loud, snuggled next to a campfire, with a child on either side of me.

The book was free when I downloaded it but it's now available for less than $2.  It would be a great book club read for people who never have time to finish the book - my book club is the worst at this! - as it took me less than 30 minutes to read (probably an hour for the average reader).  There are so many things about this book that I would love to discuss.  Apparently I'm also able to lend it to someone for free so if you're interested let me know and I'll try sharing it with you.  If you don't have a Kindle, you can still read Kindle books online or using an app for your computer or phone.



*Am I the only one who names "collections" in such seemingly vague and weird ways?  You should see my Pandora station list.  I honestly have stations called "Hauntingly Beautiful," "Dad's Music," "Work Safe Rock," and "Late 1990s and Early 2000s Awesomeness."  That's what they are to me!

First Book Review in Forever!

I recently read two books that make such a delightful contrast that I have decided to write my first book review in a very long time.

The selection for my book club*  a few months ago was Stealing Mona Lisa.  The book is about the theft of the Mona Lisa (duh) and the conspiracy surrounding the events. The Mona Lisa really was stolen in 1911 and the book tells the story of what could have happened - or what did happen, according to some skeptical sources - and is a somewhat wild ride through the Paris art scene, underground art dealing, and forgery.  I enjoyed the book, although I was admittedly a little bored and had a very hard time keeping up with the all of the characters as they all had Parisian / Italian names that sounded the same.

Two weeks ago, I downloaded Telling Lies for free on my Kindle.  Unfortunately, it's not free anymore but for anyone looking for a good book club book, I highly recommend it.  This book is similar to Stealing Mona Lisa in that it deals with the art world - underground, secret, and complex.  The story focuses on a lovable (if not unbelievably stupid) woman named Laurel who, while vacationing with her boyfriend in Italy, bumps into a man who is believed to have died in the World Trade Center attacks on September 11.  At the time of his "death," the man was brokering the sale of a  priceless masterpiece between a CEO (who did indeed die in 9/11) and a billionaire Japanese man who wants his money.  Add in a private detective who gets herself into plenty of trouble, the Isreali Mossad, and all sorts of family drama and you get yourself a good read.

Prior to these books, I was never overly interested in books about the art world.  I have a hard time keeping up since I don't know much about art, artists, or museums.  However, both of these books peaked my interest.  They were similar enough for me to compare them but had nothing in common at the same time - different masterpieces, different time periods, completely different writing styles.  But both made me think.  What do we really know about the so-called masterpieces - there are so many questions about what is original, who actually created them, etc - both in creative arts and writing (think Shakespeare!)?  Add in a bit of espionage, mistaken or changed identity, and a decent writer and you have the stuff fit for a good flight... with all the traveling, that's where I've been doing my reading at least!

Honestly, they'd make good movies.  Too bad I'm not doing the film thing anymore.

*Any of you ladies in a book club?  If you aren't, you should be.  Ours meets once a month and we spend more time eating food and drinking wine than talking about the books.  But still.  It's one of the best nights of my month - even if my friends think that makes me sound like I'm 95 years old!

Hunger Games

Last Sunday, I spent all day in bed reading.  I haven't allowed myself to do that in ages.  I don't even think I turned the television on.  Saturday night I didn't get home until 2:00am so I slept in on Sunday, rolled over and remembered there was a book on the nightstand.  I should have known then that if I wanted to get anything done that day, I should have ignored it.

I read the first two Hunger Games books not long after they came up.  For whatever reason, I never got around to reading the third.  A few weeks ago I borrowed what I thought was the third (clearly we'd had one too many cocktails by the time we were discussing the book) and discovered the next day I had in fact brought home the first.  So of course, I reread it.  Considering how much I enjoyed it the first time around and the fact that the movie comes out in just over a month, I figured it was a good use of my time.

The first book is so incredibly engaging.  You have to wonder what you would do in the same situation. 

What if you were forced to put your own life on the line to save a family member?  I certainly hope that I would do the same thing that Katniss does.  But what if, like in the books, it was an annual occurrence?  By saving her this year, that does not ensure she will be saved in the future.  I know that when we were children, my baby sister would have stepped up to take my place any time and I know that I would do the same.  In fact, she's probably more equipped to deal with a situation like the Hunger Games than I am.  But I cannot imagine subjecting her to the torture and not stepping up to take her place.  But again, we say that now, in a world where chances are I'll never have to make that decision.  What if I had to potentially make that decision multiple times in one year?  What if that were hanging over your head constantly?

Could you, really and truly, hunt other human beings in order to save yourself?  To make your family's life better?   I really don't know.  There are characters in the second book that very much step up so that others do not have to die.  They are not there to kill, however.  What would I do?  Could I kill an innocent on purpose to save myself?  I hope that I would, again, be like Katniss, who really only kills when necessary.  She is not a hunter while playing the games.  She is a survivor.

If given the opportunity, knowing that people in power could make your family's lives so horrible, would you rebel against the situation in any way?  Again, I don't know what I would do.  I can't help but think of the many times in our history that people were just swept along into a situation and couldn't do anything once they realized it was wrong (slavery, Hitler, pretty much every war).  What do you do when doing the right thing could get everyone you love killed?  I'd like to think I'd do the right thing.  But even that isn't so easy because what is right and wrong in a world where the norm is so obviously unethical?  And what if you unknowingly started the rebellion?  Do you try to stop it in order to save yourself, your family?  Do you keep the momentum going?

These books make you ask yourself so many questions.  So after rereading the first book, I couldn't wait to get through the second and third.  I will say that I was a little disappointed with the third book - it just wasn't how I saw the series ending and I think it was a bit of a cop out - but I still read it in one sitting.  From 11am-11pm on Sunday I laid in bed and read both two and three.

Touching Base

I'm going to start writing again.  Or at least try to start writing again.  We'll see how it goes.

I've actually been reading again.  For fun.  Even though I'm working long hours and not getting enough sleep, I'm reading a lot.  I need something to escape to and for as long as I can remember books have been my escape.

As a child, I did it in my little twin bed, using a flashlight to read a book under the blankets, my dog curled up on the floor next to me.  I read all the classics - Little House on the Prairie, Little Women, Charlotte's Web.  I loved (and still do love) books.  I don't just read them, I live with them.  The pages are tattered, the corners dog eared, there are notes in the margin of even the most mundane and pedestrian stories, and the covers of my favorites have literally fallen off.

These days, not much has changed,  I carry a book everywhere with me, recently purchasing a purse specifically because it would hold a hardcover book or Kindle.  I have been known to pull out whatever I'm reading at the time while waiting in the grocery store checkout line.  I am not ashamed of the fact that I cannot stop devouring stories.  I end almost every day in my gloriously big and cozy queen sized bed, my Kindle in my hand, and my cats curled up on either side of me.  Not much has changed since elementary school.

I recently read a trilogy that I wish had been around back in the day of flashlights under the blankets.  I hesitate to recommend them as they are obviously a young adult read but I couldn't get enough.  The stories focus on a young girl, Cass, who stumbles through a worm hole (for lack of better explanation) onto a deserted planet.  She spends time alone in survival mode, before being discovered by an "alien" civilization.  The beings who find her are very much human, although they are more in tune with their psychic abilities.  This all sounds so ridiculous as I'm writing it out, so just go and look at the description on Amazon.  I will leave it with the fact that there's a strong female protagonist, a sexy male love interest (not in a throw-it-in-your-face-sorta-way...) who is still haunting my dreams, and enough science fiction to keep it interesting but not so much that it was truly "sci-fi."  Talk about something that offered escape.  I was home sick a few weeks ago and spent the entire 3 days in bed reading this books.  These books will be re-read many times.

This Has Been a Wonderful Couple of Book Weeks

So I obviously posted this morning but it wasn't about anything I've read lately.  Honestly, I haven't had time to update in a while because I've been hurrying home to read more.  Fall is officially here (well, back at home winter is officially here but down here in Kentucky, I'm content with fall for now) and I've spent lots of nights laying on the couch with a fire going, a glass of wine in my hand, Lady Bug curled up on my feet and wonderful read spread out in front of me.  I know I mentioned that in one of my last real post but seriously.  I am so incredibly content with my life lately that it was worth mentioning again.

So in my post about The Thirteenth Tale, I went on and on about what a good book it was because I loved reading other people's stories.  That book, combined with some recommendations from friends and family, has gotten me a new genre trend - books about libraries or books.  I read three in a row that fit that bill and I loved each and every one of them. 

The first book after The Thirteenth Tale that I devoured (well, it was really brownies or cookies that I was devouring probably but the book was just as delicious in it's own way) was The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton.  Add it to the book club recommendations.  It's about a woman, Nell, and her granddaughter, Cassandra, and their separate journeys to discover who Nell really was.  As a child, Nell was discovered on a boat dock in Australia and brought up by a family that was not her own.  Life, and later death, intervened before she could solve her own mystery so her granddaughter picks up when she left off and ultimately discovers her family heritage after her grandmother's death.  The book does a wonderful job of telling the story from all of the perspectives and time periods involved and conjures up incredible images of stories that are waiting to be deciphered.  One of the only things that Nell has to help solve her mystery is a book of fairy tales that she arrived with in Australia.  The fairy tales themselves are a clue and tell the stories of lost princesses, scary old witches, homely but kind hearted crones... It gives me chills just thinking of how artfully these stories are crafted into this book.

After finishing that book cuddled in my bed on Saturday morning, I opened up The Shadow of the Wind, yet another book that tells the story of a mysterious book.  This story talks about a magical, if not sad, place that I wish really existed - the Cemetery of Forgotten Books.  I want a job someday guarding those books so they are not forgotten.  Seriously.  Anywho, the eerie tale that follows about a boy who "adopts" one of these forgotten books and subsequently goes on a quest to discover why it has all but disappeared is one that will suck you in on a rainy Saturday night and not let you out of its grasp until you reach the end and learn all of the gritty details sometime in the wee hours of the morning on Sunday.  I loved this book.  Very rarely do I read a book and think that I need to own it so that I can pass it along to everyone who is willing to read it, but this is one of those books.


Alright, that was sort of brief but it's 5:30 and I don't want to sit at my desk any longer.  Just wanted to mention a couple of wonderful reads for those of you who are going to be settling for the holidays and want something to read.

Oh yeah!  And I couple of movie recommendations too...

• 27 Dresses - So cute that I went out and bought a copy... 
• Avatar - I've been putting off seeing this because my tv isn't worthy.  Well I watched it last weekend anyway and hello, AMAZING.  I don't care who you are, watch it.  My mom even loved it and my mom is not a movie person.  That was the fastest 2.5 hours I've spent watching a movie in a long time.  Beautiful, political, and heartwarming all rolled into one.
• My Sisters Keeper - Yeah, no.  Not a bad movie if you haven't read the book but I am not surprised that Jodi Picoult hated it so much.  Terrible adaptation of a great story.  Skip the movie and read the book.
• The Queen - How did it take so long for me to see this movie?!  It was so royal, and British, and somehow comforting and uncomfortable all at once.  And I love Helen Mirren.  Wonderful.

Clearly I've been a busy lady lately.  Or a homebody... ha ha

Happy Thanksgiving friends!

100 Books...

This thing is going around Facebook, and while I don't usually do things like this, I had to laugh at how many of these books I've read. I already added the rest of them to my reading list. Anything bolded below are books that I’ve read… The italicized are those that I started but didn’t finish. Wow.

The BBC believes that most people will have read only 6 of these 100 books.  I read 68 of them.  That either means I'm really well read or have no life.  Either way, for your viewing pleasure, here's my 100 books list.


1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien

3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling

5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee


6 The Bible (I read the whole thing in middle school and high school.)

7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell

9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens


11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott


12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy


13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller

14 Complete Works of Shakespeare (Close, but not the whole thing… I own it though so maybe that’s a good project for Thanksgiving break. Ha ha)

16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien

17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk

18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger


19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell


22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald


23 Bleak House – Charles Dickens


24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams


27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky


28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck


29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll


30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame


31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy


32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens


33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis


34 Emma -Jane Austen

35 Persuasion - Jane Austen

36 The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis


37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden


40 Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne (Yes Dad, I read them without you!)

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell


42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood


49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding


50 Atonement - Ian McEwan


51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel


52 Dune - Frank Herbert

53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon (Just finished it! Review coming soon!)

57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens


58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez


61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck


62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt

64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold


65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas


66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac

67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding

69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie

70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville


71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens


72 Dracula - Bram Stoker


73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

75 Ulysses - James Joyce


76 The Inferno - Dante

77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

78 Germinal - Emile Zola

79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

80 Possession - AS Byatt

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker

84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

87 Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White


88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom


89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad


92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94 Watership Down - Richard Adams

95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas


98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare


99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl


100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Tales Untold

As you know, everyone has a story.  Whether it's interesting or not is another thing.  But bottom line, everyone has a story.

Some stories are sad.  Some are joyful.  Some make you pause.  Some make you appreciate the life you've had or wish you'd made some different choices or been born into a different time, place, or family.  Some stories do all of those things.

I think that's part of why I love books so much.  I love people's stories too, but people are much less likely to just lay it all out there in black and white and tell you their story.  There are always parts omitted because they don't think that bit is important or because they're embarrassed or they simply forgot.  With books, it is the author's job to make sure every little important detail is included (if the details are omitted, it's probably not a very good book.  And authors can't allow their characters to be embarrassed by their stories - if the character is not willing to share, it's simply not a part of the story.  And of course, authors can't forget details!  They've never get published if they skipped whole parts of the story.

This month is National Novel Writing Month and everywhere I look, someone is trying to write some sort of story.  Those of you who get through it will probably have a product that might some day be worth reading with a lot of editing.  Not that that's a bad thing!  I used to write and I've pretty much given it up.  Apparently my characters are too embarrassed to tell their tales.  But unless you can get it just write, you're going to have a hard time satisfying both yourself and your readers.

Of course there are hundreds of books published every year by authors that simply just missed the point, so really this rambling is going no where.

Anywho...

I just finished a book that was a fabulous story.  The Thirteenth Tale is about an elderly reclusive author who decides to finally tell her story to a little known biographer.  The biographer is no professional but, due to some interesting circumstances, is able to treat the story with such tenderness that the sheer ridiculousness of it doesn't phase her at all.  The author of The Thirteenth Tale, Diane Setterfield, did a wonderful job of capturing the essence of each of her characters and the story within a story within a book is so richly woven that I found myself complete engrossed.  Miss Winter, the elderly author, has a story that simply doesn't seem plausible - wealth, incest, twins, mysterious deaths, and on and on and on - but somehow in the end it comes together and you're left puzzling over how you didn't see it before.  And the narrator, the biographer, has a nasty mess of a life herself that you are easily drawn into.

Clearly, I found this a wonderful read... Highly recommended.  And it's a great book club book for all my lady friends out there.  I wouldn't necessarily recommend it for a day on the beach but for snuggled up next to the fireplace with a mug of hot cocoa, it couldn't be more perfect.

My lack of blogging has nothing to do with not having anything to write about and everything to with not having time to blog while I'm sitting at my desk during the day.  By 5:00pm, I usually just want to run home.  Considering that I've spent pretty much every night for the last two weeks laying on the couch reading a book or watching movies, with the cat curled up at my feet or on my lap, a fire going in the fireplace, usually with a bowl of popcorn in my lap and a glass of wine or mug of steaming hot cocoa on the coffeetable within arms reach... Well, needless to say, I have plenty of books and movies I should have taken the time to write about.  There just aren't enough hours in the day where I have internet available.

I'm thinking of canceling my cable now too.  Me... who is terrible-television obsessed.  It hasn't been on in almost a week except to watch football, Wheel of Fortune, and the morning news - both which I can watch without cable.

This fast moving city girl, who needs to know that she can go grocery shopping at 2:00am if she wants to (nevermind that I usually grocery shop on Sunday afternoons like civilized people these days), who sometimes wants ice cream at 1:00am on a Tuesday just because (except that I'm too lazy to get out of bed and actually get it now), who still doesn't sleep well (although lately "not getting enough sleep" means I only got 6 hours... which I was lucky to get in 3 nights during college and grad school), is slowing down.  Between the aforementioned fireplace, the cat, the frozen soups in the freezer, and the closet of comfy sweaters that were a requirement for growing up in the Midwest, I could stay home and doze on the couch all winter and not complain about not seeing anyone for weeks.  Seriously, I have turned into an old lady.  Or else the years of running like a chicken with my head cut off have caught up with me and my body is finally catching up on all of that rest I've been skipping since I was 12.

October feels like it was a blur.  Honestly, everything since about July has felt like a blur.  So much has changed in the last few months, even more if we go back a year, and I think I've just been coasting along until I got to a place where I felt comfortable examining my mistakes (honestly examining them, not just glossing over them and moving on), learning from them, and moving forward with my life.  The hours at home alone give me so much time to think and for the first time in my life, I'm not terrified of those thoughts.  In fact, it's been nice to be alone with my thoughts lately - I may be an old lady but I'm certainly not the crazy person that I always thought I was.

And I'm happy.  Sounds simple but we all know that it isn't always as simple as we'd like it to be.

Alright, on to the book and movie reviews.  It's been a while so I know I'll miss a few and these will be brief but it's worth it to share some of the great (and awful) things I've discovered lately.

Books

• "The Lost Symbol" (Dan Brown)
  Finally got around to reading this one.  I loved "The Da Vinci Code"  until I read "Angels & Demons" and I still think A&D is the best one.  The twists aren't twists anymore if they're pretty much the same in every book.  And this one was obvious (at least to me) but I read it in one sitting so I guess I shouldn't complain too much.  I mean, Dan Brown has a style.  If that's what you're looking for, you'll like it.  If it's not your thing, don't bother. Rating: Meh...

• "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle" (David Wroblewski)
  Ok, so I'll admit I haven't finished this yet but the fact that it's taken me almost a week to get through is a big thumbs up in itself.  It's not that it's difficult or boring or anything - it's that I want to savor it.  Yes, this book was on Oprah's list and I don't particularly like Oprah (ok, can't stand her) but it's a book about a mute boy growing up in Northern Wisconsin and his family who raises a fictional breed of dog.  As someone who (obviously) loves her pets, I find it truly awesome.  Plus, the fact that he feeds his dogs cheese curds multiple times throughout the book certainly helps me cure homesickness a bit.  It's so touching and so real (although not all at the same time) - perfect for the nights curled up on the couch that have become the norm.
  Rating: LOVE IT
  

Movies

• "In the Bedroom" (2001)
  Truly awful.  I'm sorry, but it was terrible. I waited for weeks to get it from Netflix (for some reason it was always on a wait) and when I got it, it took me three tries to get through it because I kept falling asleep.  Terrible.  Netflix described Sissy Spacek & Tom Wilkinson's performances as "stunning" - bullshit.  They were flat and boring and while I understand that the story of a boy who dies while having a love affair with a single mother isn't supposed to be exciting I do expect some life.  They didn't deliver.  And Marisa Tomei only made it worse.  It got nominated for a number of Academy Awards but I couldn't stand it.  Maybe something is wrong with me.  Whatever - I don't recommend wasting your time.
  Rating: Awful

• "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" (2010)
  LOVED IT - If you have children, they will love it.  If you are a parent of children, you will love it.  Even if you just like silly movies that make you feel like you're in 6th grade and incredibly awkward again, you will also love it.  So cute.  So child friendly.  Rent it.  Two child-sized thumbs up.
  Rating: So cute

• "The City of Lost Children" (1995)
  I should have known better than to think a 1990's French "thriller" would be thrilling.  I'll give it this much - the disjointed special effects were enough to throw you off your guard and it creeped me out a bit... but it was just weird.  Again, got great reviews, I just wasn't feeling it.  I think maybe I was just expecting too much and forgot how far cinema has come since 1995.
  Rating: It's 1995 French... what do you expect?

• "The Changeling" (1980)
  So I didn't expect much from this movie.  "Horror" movies from the 1980's don't usually turn out quite the way I planned - they're usually so terribly made that I end up laughing instead of shuddering.  Not so much with this film.  It genuinely freaked me out a little.  I mean, it was bad 80's acting and not great cinematography BUT they followed the number one rule of horror movies (at least my number one rule) and didn't really show the "ghost."  The only time you saw a figure at all was when they showed how the boy died.  Otherwise, it was just eerie things happening and that freaks me out more than some shadowy figure.  So glad I took a chance on this one.  I think my aunt recommended it - if she happens to read this, thanks.  Well done!
  Rating: Pleasantly surprised

 
So there you have it friends.  The life according to me... lately at least.

Kristin Hannah Does it Again

I have found my new favorite "book club" author - that author who no matter what the title is, you know you will want to read it and then sit around drinking wine with your girlfriends to discuss it.  You might remember my earlier post about her book Firefly Lane, which I wil continue to dub as my favorite summer read.

Last week I discovered another book by here, True Colors, that talked about the jealousy between sisters instead of focusing on best friends.  As someone with two sisters, both who I have had good times and bad with, this book resonated loud and clear.

Their story couldn't be more different than ours, but the bottom line is that all sisters are sisters.  We have this weird bond with one another that cannot be broken.  No matter what happens in the end, no matter how long we go between fights or how many months we spend avoiding each other, we are sisters and that is something no one can take away.

It's wonderful to me that my little sister is also counted as one of my best friends.  This hasn't always been the case and we definitely fight plenty, but if I really need something, there are very few people who will come running as quickly as Abby will.

I can't help but think back to 5th grade, when I got the shit kicked out of me in the hallway.  I was sitting in the office, a giant goose egg on my head, and my headstrong little sister comes charging in fists flying.  She may have been 3 years younger than us, but she was ready to knock the snot out of anyone who messed with her big sister.

Ok, sappy post aside, my ladies need to read this book.  It's perfect for book clubs, like I've already mentioned, but it's also great for sitting in front of the fireplace while the wind whistles around your house or lounging on the deck on a sunny day or snuggling in bed for a lazy afternoon or pretty much anytime you want a good read.

People are People

Last week, I read a book that disturbed me in a way that no book has done in a long time.

A friend of mine asked me to read a book she was considering reading.  Everyone knows I read faster than the average human being so usually it's easier for me to read it and let people know if it's worth their time, than having people take the time out of their schedule to read something that turns out to be junk.

My friend happens to be the mother of an inter-racial child who, at 6 years old, is experiencing a bit of an identity crisis.  I think we've all been there - we look around and realize that for whatever reason, we don't fit into the world we're living in.  Usually it's for some simple and ultimately irrational reason (I don't have the right clothes, my hair's too curly, my house isn't big enough) but when a child looks around and realizes that there is no one in the life that looks anything like them, it's a little scary.

The book she asked me to read, Beyond The Whiteness of Whiteness: Memoir of a White Mother of Black Sons, is written by a white woman who married a black man and also has inter-racial children.  In this case, she comes to identify more with her husband's family than with her own and her sons see themselves as black more than as white.  I can't tell you which cultural side my friend's son will grow up to identify with, but I told her she needs to read this book.  Everyone needs to read this book.

It saddened me with how honest it's portrayal of the world is.  I'd like to think that I look beyond how a person looks before I judge them, but in reality no one in our society really has.  Maybe if we were all blind, things would be different.  But then again, it's human nature to single out differences - we all want to be individuals and in doing so, we create in-groups and out-groups to help differentiate one another - so if we were blind, we'd probably marginalize groups based on how they talk or something like that.

I've always been a firm believer that it's not my place to judge.  I'm not perfect either.  Yes, it's easier said than done, but for the most part, I come to know people as people, not as a color, or a label, or any other identifying factor prescribed by our culture.  But the fact of the matter is that millions of people in our world are judged because of those things.  This book might just address race, but it makes you look at your world and see how other people are viewed regardless of who they are.  The same book could be written about homosexuals, or Muslims, or any one else who is seen as not the majority.

I am well aware that any time these conversations come up, it's a touchy subject.  The overt bullying of gay people has been all over the news lately and there are plenty of people out there who don't understand what the problem is.  There was a rather shocking incident at my own alma mater, a place where I was expected to accept everyone regardless of what their background was.  Racial incidents haven't disappeared, whether our culture wants to pretend that having a black man in the White House makes a difference or not.  Religious tension is felt every single day.  Unfortunately, this is probably never going to change.  There are people who I'm very close to who might not agree that it should change. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that this book reawakened me to a problem that our world can't seem to solve.  For my part, I want people to know that I accept people as people.  I think that my friends know I will support them no matter where their lives take them as long as they are willing to live honestly - I hate seeing my friends afraid to live their lives.  And I hope my students know this as well.  None of us are perfect and I can't make that big of a difference as only one person.  But I can try, right?