Thursday, June 14, 2012

I Have a Confession To Make...

So to the few people out there who are reading this, I have a confession to make.

All of this blogging lately has felt very forced. 

I'm feeling like I don't have a voice or anything interesting to say and I'm feeling downright not pretty enough, funny enough, creative enough, smart enough, fill-in-the-blank enough to even be trying right now.

Maybe it's because I decided recently I want to be a real blogger with a real point of view that people who don't know me want to read about.  So I start looking at all of these other people who are out there doing that in order to help determine my niche and I realized I'm never going to cut it. 

I can't take cute pictures of my outfits and put them out there because a) I don't have that cute of outfits and b) I am horrible at taking self portraits. 

I can't do anything fun and DIY-y because all of my DIY projects are taken from other people and that's just lame. 

My job isn't all the interesting and the parts that are, I can't really talk about out on the internet.

I'm not all that funny. 

I'm not a new mom - and I really don't want to be possibly ever.

I haven't been reading classic works of art that people want to hear about. 

I don't travel around the world having adventures. 

I'm not on a dating quest to find the perfect person for me.

I'm constantly looking to others for inspiration and am not all that inspiring myself.

I might just be the least interesting person on the internet.  I literally had a post scheduled about how I made lunch leftovers last for a week of meals.  (Don't worry - I'm sparing you from that one.) 

Maybe I'm just not cut out for this blogging thing. 

It's not only about the blogging.  Really, everything I've done lately has felt very forced, very inauthentic.  

My life lately has been filled with so many people doing so many wonderful things and I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels and am going nowhere.  I'm not good with mediocrity and that's what my life is filled with right now.  I might simply be "good" enough but that's never been okay with me.

So there.  This might be the most honest post I've written in a while.  Deal with it.

And stay tuned tomorrow for another Favorite Things Friday post.  Because really, I will keep trying.  For now at least.



    I would bet that most every blogger has that thought at some point. Heck, I'm betting most every person on the planet has a moment or two of "Meh, what am I doing? is it worth it?" throughout their lives. I know I'll keep reading.

  2. I felt the same way, Rikki, and then I had an experience that made me delete my blog and start over. I still don't really have a niche, and I'm ok with that because I'm a writer. Do I need to write in a blog? No, I could use an old-fashioned diary or just type up word docs on my computer. But I know for a fact that some of my posts, especially the ones that were scariest to write, have helped people. I know people appreciate my honesty and that I write things they feel but cannot express. And I am willing to bet someone or two or 10 people think that about you and your blog. Maybe someone loves hearing about your simple, boring life and your leftovers and cats and the books you read. Just keep going.

  3. Rikki this post itself is funny, it's you, your voice, and trust me people want to hear it:) I think we need to get you more engaged with the blogging community. I would like to interview you on one/or more of my blogs and get you on my radio show. You have a great personality!!

  4. The best part about your post is that it is honest. People can always relate to honesty wether it be inspiring or mundane. Don't stop. Just keep being as honest as possible and people will listen to what you have to say. A witty, honest post about laundry can be exciting to hear as long as your audience can relate to it.

  5. listen to Laina. I've always thought your writing was funny and your honesty is the key to it. We all live in a weird world and someone has to put it out there to remind us of that. Like it or not, a woman, her cats)and some books fits the bill. I'll bet the Bloggess would say the same thing. Keep it up. Love you and your silly little blog.

  6. Keep plugging away at it. I feel that way ALL the time and I'm relatively new to the whole blogging thing. I just have to remind myself that hey, at least my parents read it. That should be enough for me. But it's not. I just have to believe that if I keep producing content that I like and that I am happy about, readership will follow. At least that is what they tell me...

  7. Can I tell you, this is the first time I ever visit your blog and I related so much to everything that you wrote. everyone feels like this sometimes... just like all the comments before. Its a're in a rut! Great thing is, you will.come out of it...we all.always do!

    Love, Nicki G.

  8. Wow! I've been there but as a teacher who has begged students to write more than one sentence, I gotta say, you are a writer. I can't reach inside you and turn on that part that is off or in neutral. I hope you find the way to do it, because, honestly, not exaggerating this is good writing.

  9. Rikki

    When you share who you are, it gives everyone else courage to be who they are. You have 90+ books on your Kindle!!!!! That's amazing. I want to know what you are reading and loving so I can add them to my iPad. Just share what you enjoy, so maybe we can find that enjoyment too.

    I think one of the best things about that you start looking for fun things to do so you can blog about it. That means you are bringing more fun into your life! Share what you love... really we want to know!


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