Luisa's of the Day

Let's make a short story long, shall we?  (Honestly, that's my typical MO if you haven't caught on...)

When I worked at Belmont University a few years ago, my boss Luisa received a calendar from one of our printing vendors and let me keep it on my desk because she already had one.  The calendar was full of... witty... sayings such as

"Always behave like a duck - keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath."  - Jacob Braude

or

"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and doesn't stop until you get into the office."  -Unattributed

The calendar made the move to Lexington with me and I was very sad when the year ended.  So imagine my surprise when she sent me a new calendar this year!

And imagine my even bigger surprise when I discovered that, unbeknownst to her, the printer have inserted her name on every single page as a marketing / variable data advertisement.

Let me back up a moment.

This printing company is terrible.  They always messed up our lists, printed duplicates, or missed deadlines.  This calendar is no different.  On each page, there is a picture with Luisa's name in it and new quote....... complete with just about the worst punctuation ever.  This company gives me no faith that they have the ability to print a solicitation letter correctly.  See the example below:

Is it that hard to put in proper apostrophes?  I think not.

Because the calendar has become a running joke, I created a Facebook album to share the "Best of the Luisa's of the Day."  (I tried to make that link public but if it doesn't work either a) friend me on Facebook and you'll be able to see it or b) let me know and I'll try again.)

I was about a week behind but had quite a laugh when I finally caught up on the calendar at the very end of the today.  Seriously, this company is awful.

I had started noticing odd discrepancies in the photos when they had elves spelling Luisa on January 21, a full month after Christmas was over.

But imagine my surprise when I came across this photo for last Wednesday.

Wasn't Easter last month?  So I continue flipping and discover the next couple of pages are equally as confusing...

Her parents must have already told her the Easter Bunny isn't real...

So pretty we had to see it twice... in two days...

 Wrong holiday and repeated photos?  Huh?

So of course, I had to keep flipping to get caught up and laughed out loud when I encountered this...

Waiting for Santa?  On Memorial Day?  You'll be waiting a long time, honey.

 And then these two...

I think I may have already seen this one back in February.  Because at least that's closer to Christmas, right?

It was 90 degrees here all weekend.  I think the snowman is going to melt.

And finally, I got to this one...

You can't catch me, I'm the summer-version of the Gingerbread man?

At this point, I'm a week ahead on my calendar (good thing I'm going to be out of the office starting tomorrow until Monday) and I'm sitting at my desk laughing like a crazy person, thankful that it is the very end of my day so that I can take the time to photograph all of these funny pages, knowing that tonight I will take the time to write a blog post about this stupid calendar because it is far too amazing for just a typical Facebook album.

See?  I told you it would be a short story long...

I suppose the moral of the story is that the printing company really shouldn't have let the intern create the calendar.  I somehow doubt that this piece of genius is going to inspire new business.  Or else they figured we'd have given up flipping the calendar every day at this point so it wouldn't matter anyway.

As a bonus, I've included my very favorite Luisa of the Day below.  This one didn't make the album on Facebook because let's be real, it's too darn creepy.

Yep, that's a hand print in a window of some sort.  Shudders...