Women from a Man's Perspective

I feel like I haven't given my love of historical fiction novels enough time and energy on my blog. I've been a bit of a history nut for as long as I can remember. In addition to historical fiction, I am a sucker for a good biography - no matter if the person in question is really someone that matters in the grand scheme of history or not.

When we received an "advanced" copy of City of Women in my office (I say "advanced" because I didn't get around to reading it until the actual copy was released), I knew I had to read it. The book centers on a character named Sigrid, a woman living in Berlin during the height of the Second World War. While her husband fights on the Eastern Front, she embarks on a personal journey that forces her to think about what is right and what is wrong. While that's a difficult task any time, trying to find your moral compass when your entire world is being turned upside-down is even harder.

As a whole, this book delivers on excitement, historical value, and all around great character development. It offers a pretty good glimpse into Nazi Germany (not that I lived there - obviously - but I've done enough studying of that time period to know it isn't terribly inaccurate), although I would think making love to a man who was not your husband, hiding Jewish families from the SS, and befriending both a resistance worker and a lesbian were probably even more dangerous during that time period than the book implies. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop throughout the whole book. I don't really believe that the Gestapo visited suspected resistance workers multiple times without actually bringing them in for questioning, especially after their close friends had already been arrested. Maybe I'm wrong...

While the story was engaging, it was obviously not without flaws. The biggest difficulty I had was that the book was written by a man but was supposed to be from the point of view of the woman leftover in a mostly-deserted, war-torn city. While the emotional development was for the most part very real, very convincing, for all of the characters - especially the lead - I thought the sexual developments were lacking. The conflict in the book starts because Sigrid meets a man - a Jewish man - and begins an affair. The description of their love-making, her memories of him, and her thoughts about other men don't read as believable. While this may have nothing to do with a man trying to write from a woman's perspective, I do see that is a limitation. Within the last ten years, there have been many books, movies, and tv shows which accurately described the female psyche related to sex. This book misses that mark, in my opinion.

All in all, I think City of Women was worth the read. Like so many books I've read lately, the ending wrapped up a bit faster than I would have liked. Before I judge that fact too harshly, however, I'd be interested in reading the final copy, as some finished versions have remarkable differences from the advanced copy.

For those of you who haven't read a book review of mine in the past, you'll get used to the fact that I don't provide much of a plot description.  They aren't those kind of reviews.  If you want to know what the book is about, this article describes it pretty accurately.

My lack of blogging has nothing to do with not having anything to write about and everything to with not having time to blog while I'm sitting at my desk during the day.  By 5:00pm, I usually just want to run home.  Considering that I've spent pretty much every night for the last two weeks laying on the couch reading a book or watching movies, with the cat curled up at my feet or on my lap, a fire going in the fireplace, usually with a bowl of popcorn in my lap and a glass of wine or mug of steaming hot cocoa on the coffeetable within arms reach... Well, needless to say, I have plenty of books and movies I should have taken the time to write about.  There just aren't enough hours in the day where I have internet available.

I'm thinking of canceling my cable now too.  Me... who is terrible-television obsessed.  It hasn't been on in almost a week except to watch football, Wheel of Fortune, and the morning news - both which I can watch without cable.

This fast moving city girl, who needs to know that she can go grocery shopping at 2:00am if she wants to (nevermind that I usually grocery shop on Sunday afternoons like civilized people these days), who sometimes wants ice cream at 1:00am on a Tuesday just because (except that I'm too lazy to get out of bed and actually get it now), who still doesn't sleep well (although lately "not getting enough sleep" means I only got 6 hours... which I was lucky to get in 3 nights during college and grad school), is slowing down.  Between the aforementioned fireplace, the cat, the frozen soups in the freezer, and the closet of comfy sweaters that were a requirement for growing up in the Midwest, I could stay home and doze on the couch all winter and not complain about not seeing anyone for weeks.  Seriously, I have turned into an old lady.  Or else the years of running like a chicken with my head cut off have caught up with me and my body is finally catching up on all of that rest I've been skipping since I was 12.

October feels like it was a blur.  Honestly, everything since about July has felt like a blur.  So much has changed in the last few months, even more if we go back a year, and I think I've just been coasting along until I got to a place where I felt comfortable examining my mistakes (honestly examining them, not just glossing over them and moving on), learning from them, and moving forward with my life.  The hours at home alone give me so much time to think and for the first time in my life, I'm not terrified of those thoughts.  In fact, it's been nice to be alone with my thoughts lately - I may be an old lady but I'm certainly not the crazy person that I always thought I was.

And I'm happy.  Sounds simple but we all know that it isn't always as simple as we'd like it to be.

Alright, on to the book and movie reviews.  It's been a while so I know I'll miss a few and these will be brief but it's worth it to share some of the great (and awful) things I've discovered lately.

Books

• "The Lost Symbol" (Dan Brown)
  Finally got around to reading this one.  I loved "The Da Vinci Code"  until I read "Angels & Demons" and I still think A&D is the best one.  The twists aren't twists anymore if they're pretty much the same in every book.  And this one was obvious (at least to me) but I read it in one sitting so I guess I shouldn't complain too much.  I mean, Dan Brown has a style.  If that's what you're looking for, you'll like it.  If it's not your thing, don't bother. Rating: Meh...

• "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle" (David Wroblewski)
  Ok, so I'll admit I haven't finished this yet but the fact that it's taken me almost a week to get through is a big thumbs up in itself.  It's not that it's difficult or boring or anything - it's that I want to savor it.  Yes, this book was on Oprah's list and I don't particularly like Oprah (ok, can't stand her) but it's a book about a mute boy growing up in Northern Wisconsin and his family who raises a fictional breed of dog.  As someone who (obviously) loves her pets, I find it truly awesome.  Plus, the fact that he feeds his dogs cheese curds multiple times throughout the book certainly helps me cure homesickness a bit.  It's so touching and so real (although not all at the same time) - perfect for the nights curled up on the couch that have become the norm.
  Rating: LOVE IT
  

Movies

• "In the Bedroom" (2001)
  Truly awful.  I'm sorry, but it was terrible. I waited for weeks to get it from Netflix (for some reason it was always on a wait) and when I got it, it took me three tries to get through it because I kept falling asleep.  Terrible.  Netflix described Sissy Spacek & Tom Wilkinson's performances as "stunning" - bullshit.  They were flat and boring and while I understand that the story of a boy who dies while having a love affair with a single mother isn't supposed to be exciting I do expect some life.  They didn't deliver.  And Marisa Tomei only made it worse.  It got nominated for a number of Academy Awards but I couldn't stand it.  Maybe something is wrong with me.  Whatever - I don't recommend wasting your time.
  Rating: Awful

• "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" (2010)
  LOVED IT - If you have children, they will love it.  If you are a parent of children, you will love it.  Even if you just like silly movies that make you feel like you're in 6th grade and incredibly awkward again, you will also love it.  So cute.  So child friendly.  Rent it.  Two child-sized thumbs up.
  Rating: So cute

• "The City of Lost Children" (1995)
  I should have known better than to think a 1990's French "thriller" would be thrilling.  I'll give it this much - the disjointed special effects were enough to throw you off your guard and it creeped me out a bit... but it was just weird.  Again, got great reviews, I just wasn't feeling it.  I think maybe I was just expecting too much and forgot how far cinema has come since 1995.
  Rating: It's 1995 French... what do you expect?

• "The Changeling" (1980)
  So I didn't expect much from this movie.  "Horror" movies from the 1980's don't usually turn out quite the way I planned - they're usually so terribly made that I end up laughing instead of shuddering.  Not so much with this film.  It genuinely freaked me out a little.  I mean, it was bad 80's acting and not great cinematography BUT they followed the number one rule of horror movies (at least my number one rule) and didn't really show the "ghost."  The only time you saw a figure at all was when they showed how the boy died.  Otherwise, it was just eerie things happening and that freaks me out more than some shadowy figure.  So glad I took a chance on this one.  I think my aunt recommended it - if she happens to read this, thanks.  Well done!
  Rating: Pleasantly surprised

 
So there you have it friends.  The life according to me... lately at least.

Kristin Hannah Does it Again

I have found my new favorite "book club" author - that author who no matter what the title is, you know you will want to read it and then sit around drinking wine with your girlfriends to discuss it.  You might remember my earlier post about her book Firefly Lane, which I wil continue to dub as my favorite summer read.

Last week I discovered another book by here, True Colors, that talked about the jealousy between sisters instead of focusing on best friends.  As someone with two sisters, both who I have had good times and bad with, this book resonated loud and clear.

Their story couldn't be more different than ours, but the bottom line is that all sisters are sisters.  We have this weird bond with one another that cannot be broken.  No matter what happens in the end, no matter how long we go between fights or how many months we spend avoiding each other, we are sisters and that is something no one can take away.

It's wonderful to me that my little sister is also counted as one of my best friends.  This hasn't always been the case and we definitely fight plenty, but if I really need something, there are very few people who will come running as quickly as Abby will.

I can't help but think back to 5th grade, when I got the shit kicked out of me in the hallway.  I was sitting in the office, a giant goose egg on my head, and my headstrong little sister comes charging in fists flying.  She may have been 3 years younger than us, but she was ready to knock the snot out of anyone who messed with her big sister.

Ok, sappy post aside, my ladies need to read this book.  It's perfect for book clubs, like I've already mentioned, but it's also great for sitting in front of the fireplace while the wind whistles around your house or lounging on the deck on a sunny day or snuggling in bed for a lazy afternoon or pretty much anytime you want a good read.

I'm Over Simplifying the Horror Tonight...

I read a book a few weeks ago that I just realized last night I never wrote about.  Since it's stuck with me this long and I'm still thinking about it, it's worth writing about.

While not a light read by any means, The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood certainly makes you think.  It was published in 1985 but takes place in the "near future" - although while reading the book there are times when one thinks the book is set either in the past or in a third-world country.  The basic premise is that an extremist group overthrows the US government and forces women to take a lesser place in society - well, those in power claim they are protecting the woman and all that jazz, but being taken away from your husband and child and forced to serve as a concubine in hopes that a man in power can bring more off-spring into this world doesn't sound like "protection" to me.

It freaked me out a little bit.  Not that a modern day society could look at women in such a backward light, because that's happening all over the world as we speak.  But that such an extreme viewpoint could so easily take over!  There's a passage in the book that describes times during the woman's "past life" and she talks about how everyone purchased goods using an electronic banking system that was controlled by the government.  When the extremists got some power, they basically turned off female's ability to use their electronic accounts, thereby rendering them powerless in a capitalist driven society.  I'm over simplifying it but it's disturbing - and I write that I as think about how many times I'm casually swiped my debit card this month.  I don't have a man who could control my finances.  I would be swooped up as a concubine, or some equally ridiculous position, immediately for sure.  I pity the man that tried to tell me that I was only good for bearing children.

I don't know that I really have a point here.  I just think it's worth a read if you want to think about where society is heading and how fragile our lives as we know it are.  Again, there are people all over the world that understand this already.  But for some reason, most Americans are remarkably resilient.  What if something so catastrophic happened that as a culture we were not able to bounce back?  I think it'll stick with me the way that the movie Children of Men has.  I mean, that wasn't even that good of a movie but it gets stuck in my brain on a regular basis and I start thinking "what if life were really like that?"  That would really suck.


LITTLE SIDE NOTE:
The Wikipedia description of this book is hilarious!  I'm pretty sure radical feminists wrote the whole thing.  The whole point of the book is that it's a white, rich, male-dominated society and women, children, minorities, and anyone else not fitting the norm have been stripped of all power - I think most of you got that from my rather lame-o description above.  It's rather unnecessary to describe the new government  as "founded by a racist, male chauvinist, nativist, theocratic-organized military coup as an ideologically-driven response to the pervasive ecological, physical and social degradation of the country."  I think we get the point.  I mean, that's just my opinion and maybe I'd feel differently if the only way I knew anything about this book was through the Wikipedia page.  But I like books.  I'd rather read the book and find that out for myself than read it on Wikipedia.  Seriously.  Chill out people.  This book is disturbing but it's a work of fiction.

Worlds, Friends, Memories Lost

Blah, blah, blah... I have been neglecting my blog again.  That's a trend from previous attempts to blog that I was hoping to change this time around.  No such luck.  I've also been neglecting my books - except those that are work related - and I'm feeling the void.  My flowers are hitting their end of summer slump so even my patio isn't looking so pretty these days.  My apologies to all of my friends out there who have also been neglected.  I missed so many birthdays in the last few weeks and that makes me a horrible person.  Or a distracted person but whatever.

It's Labor Day and I have (most of) the day off.  I would love to be spending today at a ball park or at the fair or something equally as full of friends, laughter, and beer.  Instead, I'm cooped up at home with the cat.  Allergy season has attacked me full force this year and I'm finally recovering.  It's about time.  I've been a sneezing, sloppy mess the last few weeks.  And grumpy from lack of sleep, to say the least.

The only work of fiction I've read lately that is of note has left me feeling extra nostalgic.  I volunteered to participate in a first-year engagement book project that Transy created for it's incoming students and the book we read was fabulous.  A World Lost, by Wendell Berry, may not be the most widely read nor the most exciting book I've ever mused over, but it is calming and charming, both things that I need in my life most days.  It is about a boy whose uncle dies while he is young.  As an adult, he looks back at his childhood and reflects on what sort of person this uncle was.  Perhaps because he doesn't want to understand the negatives, or perhaps because childhood is usually viewed through an overly innocent lens, the man grew up idolizing an uncle who by most accounts was not exactly a role model. 

The book made me think about all of the things I have lost - people, friends, past lives that I have left behind when I move on - and how I view these lost things.  I've discussed this to a point in an earlier post, but this book made me think about it all again.  Except this time, I'm missing people that are truly gone or whose relationships are beyond repair.  When we look back, we always remember the good.  It's not that we forget about the bad times, but how often do we sit home dreaming about a past life we've lived and think about all of the times we were disappointed?  Instead, we focus on what made us happy, made us laugh.

Maybe it's because today is a day for family and friends and I'm in short supply of those in this part of the country.  Maybe I'm just stuck in a funk.  But this book is stuck in my brain.  Even happy-go-lucky movies haven't knocked it out of me.  Tomorrow I have to lead a discussion about the book with six new students.  I'm excited because I love hearing others' perspectives on things that I have loved but it's a bit frightening at the same time.  What if I can't help them see the flaws in our memories or get them to realize that a rather slow moving book really can inform how we look at the world around us?  I can't get myself to remember either of these things on a regular basis, so am I really equipped to help others?

The answer, of course, is yes.  That's what this blog is all about.  Furthermore, that's what teaching is all about and we all know that I want to inspire great thinking and learning some day.  The best way to learn something is to teach it, and I'm ready to teach that small group even just a small lesson.

As for today, I need to get out of here.  My balcony has a beautiful breeze and the sun is shining.  But sitting here, hidden away from the world, enjoying some snuggles with Lady Loo isn't really going to shake me from these memories, now is it?  Maybe I'll go run some errands, get out for a walk in the park, or maybe I won't heed my own advice and I'll go cuddle on the couch some more.  For today, it might be enough to recognize that I need to shake this feeling of loss and stop looking back for what can never be again.  Many of the people and places I'm mourning simply don't exist anymore - either because they're truly gone from this earth or because I'm not the same person I was at that time.  And even for someone with a great imagination, maybe especially for someone like that, it's never good to sit and think about might-have-beens and used-to-bes.

I'm am a Terrible Blogger - or - Don't Pass Judgement Too Quickly

The lack of internet at home and the crazy work days have certainly combined to equal no blogging lately.  I also haven't done a lot of reading, but I have two books I've been meaning to write about and I get frustrated every day that I don't have time to write.  Both should inspire their own thought provoking posts but instead, one quick jot on the page (er... blog) is all they're going to get.  Better late and short than never and long but only in my brain.

Guilty Until Proven Innocent
I finished John Grisham's The Innocent Man a few weeks ago and I had plans to write a big long post about how strangely awful the writing was.  For someone who excels at crime dramas, Grisham sure missed the mark in his writing style on this one.  The writing was boring and almost too fact driven... but the story was so horrifying that I plowed through and would recommend it any day.  I get that it was a non-fiction work but all of his books read like non-fiction - why he was suddenly drab, I don't understand.  The book is about a murder in a small town and the men who are accused of her murder.  Plain and simple, the cops screwed up in this case.  There was no concrete evidence tying them to the case and there was a (correct) suspect right in front of their noses the entire time.  What was more disturbing was the fact that the jury convicted him!  Grant it, this took place 20 years ago but still.  How backwards of a society are we that we can't really presume anyone innocent until proven guilty anymore?!  Are we really that cynical? 

The answer, of course, is yes we are.  The book left me disappointed in our judicial system but more so disappointed in myself.  I couldn't help but wonder if I would have judged him the same way if I were in their shoes.  We are desperate for answers when bad things happen.  I understand that.  But we judge that way regardless of the evidence in front of our face!  And we judge that way whether it is something requiring answers or not!  I know I'm not the only person who judges people on the sidewalk, at work, at the grocery store, for things that don't require judgement.  How often do we misjudge?  How often do we pass judgement without all of the evidence?  How often do we decide people are guilty - whether for something petty or for something much larger - before they have any chance to prove otherwise?!

The book made me think, obviously.  I finished it weeks ago and it's been on my mind ever since.  He may have been a bit dull in this writing, but Grisham found a perfect first true story to rehash.  It disturbed me to no end.  And yet I still find myself jumping to conclusions and passing judgement almost daily. 



I think I'll skip writing about the second book for now.  I've got myself all worked up again.  Damn books - always getting into my brain.  I need to go to the library this weekend.  I don't even have anything new to read.  And Food and Wine Magazine doesn't count.

A Post in Which I Get a Little Vulnerable

I had planned to write about the book I finished this morning when I got a chance to get on the internet, but I can’t right now.  It’s 12:06 on a Saturday night and I’m reading a book that has brought me to tears more than once.  It hits close to home and late night on a weekend when you haven’t spoken to a soul other than your cat and your mother is not the time you want to be reminded of your shortcomings.

The book, Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah, is about two girls who become best friends when they are fourteen. The book follows their lives thereafter.  Their friendship might not be the most realistic if you ask me, but the outright love that is portrayed through the book is.  And the  other central story of the book is more realistic than I care to admit.  One of the woman falls in love with a man who has fallen in love with the other woman.  Not to give anything away, because it’s pretty easy to see early on anyway, but the first woman ends up getting the man, marrying him and having his children.  Even so, she always feels like she was his second choice.

Now, I’m only half way through the book but it has cut me to the core.  Forgive me for getting too personal, too involved in a freaking paperback novel.  I’ve never fallen in love with a man who loves my best friend but I do know what it feels like to feel like the second choice.  What kills me is that men are so damn closed off that half the time we don’t know whether we really are the second choice or whether we just think that.  I don’t know that it matters.  Because what a woman feels and thinks are more powerful than what is real most of the time.  And just like the story in this book, where the man really truly does love his wife but is still half looking for what could have been with the other woman, men do that to us all the time without even realizing it.

Like I said, it’s after midnight on a Saturday night and I’m feeling lonely.  And this book isn’t helping.  It’s beautifully written and makes me long to be the other girl.  She’s free spirited, beautiful, even if she’s more vulnerable in the inside than she looks.  But at least she can hide it.  Instead of pretending I’m fine, I’m checking my phone obsessively for a text message that I know will never come, from a man who’s a lifetime (and time zone) away, writing about it in my blog.  But I couldn’t just let the night pass without mentioning this book.  Read it.  I dare you to open yourself up the possibility that friendship and love can both be this real.

Revolutionary Boring

Ok, let me take a minute to remind you that I'll read anything.  Well, almost anything.  I especially love books that get good reviews or who have stood the test of time, even if they sound terribly boring.  I think I need to start following my gut and stop reading them just because someone else said they were worth my time.  I guess if I have to listen to someone else to convince my something is wroth my energy, I should know better than to think they are right.

I recently read Revolutionary Road, the "critically acclaimed" book that was made into a movie not long ago.  The movie stars Leonardo DiCaprio and considering I've been crushing on him since middle school, I figured I'd read the book and then get the movie through Netflix. 

Now, I'm sure there are people out there who disagree but I found that book incredibly boring.  Maybe I just don't get it but I thought it was pretty rotten.  It had its moments but I had no trouble putting it down for long stretches of time and only finished it because I have a hard time not finishing books once I've started them.  I got the Netflix dvd earlier this week and unfortunately I feel the same way about the movie.  Actually, I think the movie might be worse.  At least the book was well written even if the characters were pretty flat.  I turned the movie off half way through.  I'll finish it eventually, but considering that it's Netflix so its not due back any time soon, I'll get to it when I get to it.

I'm taking a long weekend this week and I don't want to muck it up with boring movies or books.  I'm in the middle of another boring but praised book, Still Alice, and I refuse to even bring it with me.  Still Alice has an interesting plot - it's about a world-renowned psychologist who is diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's - but again, I just knew before I started it that I wouldn't be interested.  I understand why I should read it and like I said, the topic is interesting, but the book is just a pile of mud waiting for me to get through and I'm afraid my emotional and psychological waders just can't hold up.

Maybe I should start trusting my gut before I pick up a book.  I'm sick of getting muck in my boots.  Actually, I'm sick of dealing with muck in my life.  Maybe I should trust me gut when it comes to more than boring books.